Closing the blog - wrap up

I thought I'd write a post and leave it up for a few weeks letting you all know I am closing this blog! I'm so sorry!

Why? Um, personal reasons. Let's just say I've had some privacy issues lately. I have other areas in my life apart from this blog (shock, huh?) and I figure the best way to control everything and protect my privacy is to basically stop being on the net. There's other things I want to do as well, and I need to downsize, once again, my life to something more manageable. Sort of a spring cleaning of sorts.

I did want to finish this blog with a final post saying that I'm pretty optimistic for my future in med school and that of OUM. My grades are where they're supposed to be, my finances are flowing nicely, and I'm only a few months away from escaping pre-clinical and getting into my clinical rotations.

OUM keeps improving the way they do things and I'm happy with what they're doing right now and the few things they have lined up in the pipe works.

My health has seemed to have survived being back for a term. I have some really exciting things coming up in the next 12 months outside of med school as well, so I'm somehow maintaining this work-life-study-health balance. Things are so much easier when you're healthy.

I've really enjoyed writing this blog. Thank you so much for your support along the way.

OUM has a Facebook page which is an easy way to ask questions, and remember that if you ask, OUM will try and put you in contact with current students so you can ask anything you want to know.

My last bit of advice is to remember that the really big things in life often come with big sacrifices. I doubt I'd want to be a doctor so much if it was "easy". However, the important things in life are rarely the "big" things. Take time to smell the roses, swallow your pride work on relationships, look after your health as a priority, help other people discover their own dreams, and remember life is short and it's a journey - it's ok to make mistakes, change your mind, look like a fool, and try again. You don't get final points in the nursing home or hospital bed for being perfect.

Take care of yourselves.

Week 6

Well I'm in my final case-based week for Renal. Whew. It's actually been ok for me this term so I feel a lot more encouraged. I can't say I'm getting the bast grades in the world but I at least feel it is possible for me to pass with a grade >75%. For me, I think that is acceptable.

I'm also feeling well financially which is such a huge component of studying somewhere like OUM. I thnnk I have what it takes to finish off my pre-clinical module back-to-back and be done with them by June 2014, and then take a few months to prepare for the Step 1. Excitement!

We've been really busy at work this week so I haven't been able to do as much as I want. I woldn't be so worried except for the fact I am planning one being away for the weekend for a taekwon-do tournament so I doubt I'll be able to catch up then. But it's only Wednesday now.

Ok I hae to go learn everything about renal calculi (nephrolithiasis).

Last day of acids/bases (Week 5)

Today is my last day to study for the quiz tonight. It's acids and bases week. I'm at a point where I understand everything to a basical level, no problems, but those tricky questions that require a deeper level of undertanding are probably gonna get me.

I've added a couple new links of the Resources Page for which there should be a visible tab up the top right now (I change the blog layout occasionally to keep things fresh).

That's it. Back to cramming with:

• First Aid for the Basic Sciences Organ Systems
• The Renal System At A Glance
• First Aid for the USMLE Step 1
• Lecture notes
• Lecture recordings
• Skimming readings
• Looking at the clinical vignettes from the case study
• Kaplan vids

Week 5 of Renal

I'm nearing the home stretch of Renal. Well, I'm only just over half way of the 8 weeks, but my case study weeks finish next week.

I have had a massive weekend with the election and my friends birthday and my birthday and been so busy at work so I'm really not looking forward to the quiz tomorrow at all.

So I'm doing some cramming tonight and tomorrow bascially, and crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

I did ok last week but I really wanted to do better this week and now I'm just hoping to pass.

The good thing is - I'mstaying well and my stress kevels are being well managed. I just forgot how frustrating it can be to have to juggle both work and study when study requires SO much time. Oh well, that's my choice and I just have to accept my grades wont be as good as they could've been had I not had to work. But that's my path.

St John Ambulance induction.

I'm nearing the end of Week 4 with some last minute study at work today and my quiz tonight while I'm on-call (so I hope I don't get disturbed).

This week went ok but I felt I lost too much time somehow. Firstly, on Tuesday at work I think I spent too much time talking to my work colleague, after-all, it was my first shift back in 8 weeks. Wednesday it took my just about all day to go and do the grocery shopping (not sure how), plus I had a sleep-in to make up for lost sleep Monday night.

And yesterday I spent all day at the St John Ambulance Induction Training so I can do placements with them as a student doctor. Idid study on the train on the way there but too tired on the way back plus I was sitting facing backwards which make me motion sick! How I function as a paramedic I do not know.

I already spent a day with SJA doing my Level 1 First Aid, which I think is ridiculous considering I'm a qualified ALS paramedic, but anyway. We did CPR and defib again (just the automatic defib device) and made sure we could make our slings look good lol

Well it should all be worth it as I am doing my first duty at the Rhianna concert in a few weeks, and then I can start putting my name down for the MAT team duties (Medical Assessment Team) which consists of only health care professionals (doctors, nurses, and paramedics) and health care students and looks after things beyond the first aid scope.

Personally, I love doing a bit of first aid because we rarely do minor stuff in ambulance and I get perplexed when someone asks me what to do about a simple sprain, for example.

Anyway, I have to go finish my learnings on fluids and electrolytes. I think I'm spending too much time on acids and bases which is next week but somehow popped up on this week's learning objectives too.

Week 4, here I come

I have a renewed sense of optimism and energy starting Week 4 today.

I really began it yesterday afternoon (Monday) after my quiz to try and get some reading of the case done before the first lecture at 8am on Tuesdays.

I had a big headache and felt tired so I went back to bed for a few hours this afternoon. I have been slack with my diet and eating bread again and drinking a bit of coffee and I really must stop that before I return to work on Thursday.

I sat down tonight with my little exercise journal. I have two weeks until a taekwon-do competition in Mildura, and then only two weeks after that is the Australian Masters Games in Geelong. I went to tkd training last night and I have lost a serious amount of fitness over the past 3 or so weeks. It's scary! I am very motivated to go to training as much as possible, therefore I must study a good 10 hours during the day. Training takes up a huge chunk of time as it's such a long drive to our club and we go to the gym for an hour beforehand to work on cardio, strength, and stretching. The 1.5 hour classes are technique-focused.

Anyway, it's all fluids and electrolytes this week so there is heaps of physiology to understand. I like physiol, but this week is truly daunting.

This is what I'm doing right now:

• This week's learning objectives (this week they came with the answers. Not sure if it was a mistake? Normally it's just a question format, ie "What are the fluid compartments of the body?")
• This week's case. It's MASSIVE. There's about 4 actual clinical vignettes and 25 pages of information attached with it.
• Revision of lecture and slides. I just can't pay attention for 1.5 hours straight so I am trying to go over them again. I have a second lecture on Thursday morning. I feel the quiz questions are covered well in the lectures in this module.
• Guyton and Hall Textbook of Medical Physiology - the appropriate chapters in the renal section on fluid and electrolytes and also diuretics
• Dr Najeeb lectures on fluids and diuretics. 
• Then, I have 3 required readings to do
• USMLEWorld QBank renal physiology questions
• cross-referencing in First Aid and Kaplan revision sources that I have

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Buddha, Thank you Old Gods

Phew. I just got 80% on my quiz.

I really, REALLY needed a confidence boost and a good score like that was just what I required.

Massive PHEW.

I forgot to write last week that I realised I had TWO lectures per week, not just one. I missed the second one for the first two weeks, but luckily they've changed the policy so you can watch the recordings if you miss them. I have no idea how I didn't realise it before week 3. I was really kicking myself, I felt so down on myself: "Oh you can't even figure out when your lectures are, let alone pass the course".

So far, I've gotten over 80% in all my modules except Neuro (due to illness), so I shouldn't really be so hard on myself. I have written about this before, but I will say it again, med school can be really hard for a lot of students becuase they come from a previous background of everything being easy for them. I know for me, even if I didn't study much in other courses, I could still 'wing' and exam and still do quite well. This is NOT the case for med school at all. It is one of the reasons why I wanted to do med, to really push myself and do something that did require me to put in a little effort. It can be uncomfortable at times, and I question my abilities ALL the time. I don't know why. I should be more confident. I heard that being confident can boost your IQ by 10%!

I'm also really really glad to have gotten a good score this week because now I can stop telling myself:

1. You only did well in the Week 1 quiz because the first week is always the easiest
2. You only did well in the Week 1 quiz becasue you can do ok for short periods, but do not have the stamina for a long course
3. Even if you didn't have technical issues in the Week 2 quiz, you still would have failed it any way
4. The academic coordinator thinks your a liar and you made up the technical problems with the quiz and when you fail the 3rd one as well this will prove it to him

Gee it sounds like I'm really negative. I'm actually a really positive person. My old cranky GP who didn't think I could make it in med school was right about one thing: it really does require a lot of strength.

Dichotomy of knowledge

I've been using USMLEWorld QBank as an additional resource to help me prepare for my weekly quizzes, and I found http://usmle-score-correlation.blogspot.com.au website to see what my QBank score would mean on the USMLEs.

It goes like this: The stuff I'm good at, from being a paramedic, ie cardiovascular/respiratory anatomy/physiology/pathology etc, I do really well in. Enough to get into what I want to get into. The stuff I don't have a background in, ie renal, isn't even good enough to pass. I haven't dared looked at my biochem scores for a long while.

Right now, what I'm not good in is outweighing what I am - too much.

I have a lot of work to do.

I'm gonna go read the renal sections of some of the books I have on my shelf now I've completed the allocated readings. It's a Sunday afternoon and I haven't left the house for days. I take no more than an hour off a day plus meal breaks.

Oh, and PS: my academic advisor doesn't count doing the readings as "study". Apparently I'm to read 100-200 pages per week, do all the lectures and meetings, and THEN do 40 hours of extra study on top. This could be where I've been going wrong. I've been doing 40 hours total, you know, a mere 7 hours, 6 days per week.

Some good news

The academic coordinator has allowed me to not include that last quiz in my grades due to there being problems with it. I'm so relieved I really think I would have done much better if the timer hadn't unexpectedly run-out!

So it's really up to be now to do really well on the next quizzes.

Back at med school

I'm back studying at med school. Things are going ok so far, but my initial thoughts of having a more balanced life seem impossible now only a few weeks back. I'm beginning to wonder how other people do it.

I guess I'm already a little disheartened by my grades so far. Mostly, because I thought I was doing really good. In my mentor meetings I feel confident, like I know what I'm talking about. I read about the diseases and think "Oh yeh, I know this" and cross read other references and it all looks familiar, I actually complete the allocated readings, then all of a sudden it's quiz time and one week I do amazing, and then next really poorly. I can't make heads or tails of it.

I suppose all I can do is hope they will take me back into the MBBS program if the MD thing doesn't work out. I can't believe how negative I sound already. I guess this is a good warning to potential med students that it can be a real hit on the self esteem.

My parents are coming over from interstate to visit and I've basically had to tell them that I don't have time to spend with them. They're all like "Just one day together will be fine" and I'm seriously thinking "No, I don't even have one day". I have a really good mate's baby shower on the weekend, I promised my best friend I'd help her prepare for it by making the vegan food, and another party back in my bf's hometown and I'm basically cancelling on everyone. I feel dreadful.

To make matters worse, I feel I can't train and I'm still off work with a broken toe. Talk about feeling completely useless right now. At least I don't have major anxiety like last time or chronic fatigue.

To sum things up, I suppose things are not going well for me back at med school after all. They were last week and I didn't feel like blogging so excuse me while I vent now. I guess this is how I got into this blogging in the first place! If things keep going bad for me, then expect more posts. If you don't see any, then assume things are going well.

One positive thing is, I do have a really good academic advisor this time. She is very friendly, helpful, and supportive. Do you remember that the last one laughed at me (literally in my Skype-face) because I didn't have a solid microbio background? My new ones is all like: "Med students always put too much pressure on themselves. You can't know everything. It's ok not to do well in everything - you're still learning." I know some people prefer tough love, but I like the softer approach and gentle reassurance. I also like the fact she sounds like Oprah, although I haven't been exposed to many people with that type of accent in rural Australia.

Perhaps, one of the worst things is, I feel like I would make a really good doctor. I feel like I "get" things quickly and can work my way through diagnoses no problems. It's frustrating me that I'm stuck in the purgatory of pre-clinical.

That is all. Excuse my complaining. I'll try and end on a positive note, perhaps some sort of positive affirmation, each time to avoid the bad mental state I got myself in last time I was studying at med school. I don't want to get those grey hairs back again. It may not be original, as I need practice, but here goes:

I can do this. Whatever it takes, I have the ability.

Edit: My former mentor is mentoring me again, I've been told I have to repeat neuro at 50% tuition if I want to complete an MD (MD>75% vs MBBS>60% as I got 60) although they didn't offer it this term so I'm doing renal and seeing how I go (if I get 60-75 then I'd seriously consider changing back to MBBS if they will allow me - I haven't asked - and not worry about the USMLEs for now), and my tax return pretty much covered my tuition fees but I wasn't able to do a 12-month tuition plan until January so I have had to pay a whole module. Oh, and I broke my big toe during my taekwon-do tournament and have had the past 6 weeks off work!

Money, med school, and mouth pain

I'm over two weeks with Invisalign and I've gotten used to them. They don't hurt any more and I'm actually beginning to prefer to have them in. With them in, my front tooth gap is closed and my teeth look shiny and glossy from the plastic veneer, and the scratchy button are protected. I put in my new tray next week so it will be interesting to see if they hurt again from another adjustment.

This is my last week of acting up in high duties and on the weekend I do my taekwon-do competition. After that, I'll be just going back to regular tkd training for my next belt grading, hopefully netball will begin again, and I can begin preparing to return to study.

I contacted OUM a few months ago about what to do with me, seeing my situation, and it was as if it was a bit too hard to think about that far ahead. So, next month, I will contact them again. When I know what I am doing (I return half way through a term and need to do remedial for neuro) then I can ask my previous mentor if she is willing to continue mentoring me. If she says no, I hope to get clinical rotations at her hospital so I can prove my worth once again and not completely lose the excellent contact I have for my possible future career. I hope to NOT do my first rotation there so I get some sort of experience in-hospital and not look completely clueless.

Samoa has finally opened their new training hospital and I can't wait to check it out.

I went through a period of about a week where I was meditating every morning and I had a lot of mental clarity and came up with some solutions to the clinical placements vs money problems. I am hoping to get in a least a few clinical rotations while still working full-time as an ambo. A year would be ideal. After that I will be refinancing for my last clinical rotations. I am therefore planning to either do overseas rotations/electives (4 weeks each) during my annual leave form work while still being full-time employed and/or after finishing up full-time and using some of the money for tuition fees to support myself OS. IF I left my trickiest placements (to obtain) and Samoa to the very end, I could rent out my house (ie move my stuff out and get the renter to cover my mortgage) and simply stay there seeing as Internship is guaranteed for graduates. I'd then stay on and work as a low-paid doctor over there - just enough to live reasonably comfortably in Samoa. The last piece of the puzzle is my pets. My bf can easily follow me (he's looking forward to living overseas for a year or so). I'll have to meditate more to come up with that solution for the pets. Possibly my parents would take my dog, ad the bf's parents take his dog back for a year, but I'd have to build and pay for a fence at my parents and more my dog interstate AND my folks don't really want pets due to wildlife and lifestyle but they might suck it up for a year to help me sooooooo I'm hoping the untapped powers of my subconscious can come up with something better.

If I had unlimited money then I'd have a lot more options. I could continue to have my boarder who'd look after my dog, but she alone doesn't cover the mortagage. I could possibly get a second boarder in, but then that's a bit of a long-shot finding someone appropriate but then again it is a possibility.

Every body visualise me coming into great amounts of wealth.

One good thing, apart from my epiphany, is that I will soon have enough money from my lovely tax return to cover my owed tuition fees at OUM! Hoorah. So back to the 12-month payment plan I go (hopefully).

Invisalign

I began my Invisalign treatment this week. Oh boy!

So my teeth, cosmetically, aren't that bad. But I don't like them. I had braces as a teen and over the years they have changed. I am about to click over to 35 and I feel my teeth age me most of all. And maybe my weight (I'm still a BMI of around 23. So healthy but not lean but I think I look reasonably fit and healthy). My bite is quite narrow, I have an over-bite, some lower crowding, an uppers gap, and my bite at the back is off and feels uncomfortable. Anyway, it's pretty much nay going to get worse so I decided to fix it now and not wait until I've finished med school (the original plan, for everything, is to defer all major expenses until this time).

It's taken a few months to get my first tray due to needing to get an intial consultation, seeing my dentist for a check up, getting the moods done, and then finally getting my "buttons" (small attachements points for certain teeth) and then first tray fitted.

Oh my word - the pain. They say the first few days of each new tray is painful as that's when the most amount of pressure is exerted. I've had to take pain killers and eat soft food.

The other thing is, with Invisalign, you're supposed to only taken them out for a total of an hour a day to eat, and you must brush and floss before replacing them. They're also a bit difficult to take out. All this combined means I'm only eating my 3 square meals a day. No more snacking, you're not allowed anything but cool water while wearing them. So, I'm thinking, will I lose weight? Firstly, I love to snack. And it's from hand to mouth without stopping to consider. My main meals are usually pretty good. Fruit from breakfast and lunch and a low fat cooked vegan meal for dinner (think steamed veges and rice with a tomato-based sauce) or a leafy green salad. Secondly, because of snacking my main meals aren't always that big. But the last few days with Invisalign they have been. This is what Doug Graham recommends in 80/10/10.

I'd love to get leaner for taekwondo competitions in the next few months.

Also, Invisalign makes your mouth dry and causes some pain to the tongue and gums due to sharp edges. This makes fruit smoothies and mashed veges very appealing. I'll see how I go next week when my teeth adjusts.

My boyfriend likes them. He says they make my lips more pouty. My friend at work though I'd had a lip-job done lol. You really can't see them more any more than half a meter away (normal personal space)' although I do have a slight annoying lisp atm.

I thought sleeping with them in would freak me out due to the choking hazard, but they are well and truly stuck onto my teeth due to the buttons. They take a fair bit of effort to get them out. Hence, no snacking, I don't mind brushing but I hate taking them out.

I found warm water from the shower/bath helps sooth the pain and actually I will take them out and brush them in the shower from now on as its more comfortable on my teeth. I've used some bi-carb soda to clean them (they discolour easily) but I've heard that soaking them in white vinegar works well, so ill try that when I get some vinegar!

Life is an illusion

I am currently pondering on the idea that life is an illusion. I mean, I can easily accept that perception of things is what creates our experience of reality, but how far does the illusion really extend?

If I can change things, like the scenario and outcome, of my dreams when lucid dreaming, how come I can't do that in the so-called "awake" stage?

I'm working through Atisha's Seven Points on Mind Training, and the second one is to treat all phenomena as if they are dreams. Clearly, they are not exactly the same thing as the dreams we experience in the sleeping state, so what's the go?

Anyway, I'm Googling the fruit out out of this and I hope to come up with some answers. I've even asked my Mensa friends. Maybe I'll ask the monks in some of the Buddhist groups I'm in!

Here's a link to more on this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_in_Buddhism

And also: http://www.rinpoche.com/teachings/sevenpoints.htm

No playing doctor today, and feeding my dog a vegan diet

The GP I observe wasn't abe to have me today as he already had other medical students booked in.

That's ok becaue tonight I go and get officially recruited as a student doctor with St John's. Woohoo! Unfortunately, my uniform will probably be badged as "paramedic", but I'll know deep down inside that I'm a student doctor lol

Today: I have no other plans. I normallly do my workout first thing in the morning, but I felt a bit lazy today. As long as it's done before 6pm, so I'll plan to start it at 4:30. Until then it's food and Facebook.

Last night at the Buddhist Gompa was really good. I had my vegan meal (I couldn't have dessert as it had dairy in it) of pumpkin and lentil soup and a main of tofu noodle satay and a massive green salad. Delish. I had water with my meal and I heard another lady say she was going to have a cup of tea so she could stay awake during the lesson...Not sure that's a good idea. I am pretty anti-caffeine these days. Clean carbs are the new caffeine....

The Geshe spoke of how wisdom means love and compassion for others, but that this must start with ourselves; how we must not just eat what tastes good, but what is good for our bodies. We cannot love others without loving ourselves first. He also spoke of, basically, peer pressure and adopting the habits of those around us, and when our peers leave, the habits become ours and harmful to ourselves. He used drinking and smoking as examples, but to me it resonated with general modern living and this toxic food environment we live in.

I've also started my dogs on a transition to vegan diet. I thought it was mean at first, but then I read about how healthy it makes dogs, and how they can live to a really old age, I thought it was mean NOT to put them on a vegan diet. I think I wont make them strictly vegan, but their daily meals will now consist of about 90% fresh vegetables like steamed root vegetables and grated zucchini and carrot. My dog had watermelon for a snack this mornign for breakfast with me. He wasn't sure at first, but then he loved it and kept coming back for more. There are heaps of resources on the web to find out what foods are ok for dogs. Bascially, grapes/raisins/sultanas are bad, apple seeds, and tomatoes, garlic, and onions. Everything else seemed logical to me: no chocolate, no caffeine, no big pips from stone fruit (choking hazard). It's best to feed them root vegetables cooked, as you do to humans. They also need more fat in their diet than humans do, so coconut oil and peeanut butter seem to be a popular choice. Oh, macadamia nuts and avocadoes are out too.

Here's a link to the ASPCA guide.

Anyway, I'm probably going to find a good few recipes for them and stick to it, so it's not that difficult really. So far what I've been making them I could easily eat myself, so maybe I will do that in the future - make batches for all of us omnivores! (It's funny, I always thought humans were omnivores and dogs were carnivores, but now I think humans are herbivores and dogs are true omnivores...)

Another random update

I'm on annual leave at the moment, so I'm enjoying not stressing about anything.

I just got back from a most excellent road trip in Tasmania where I got to enjoy the magnificent natural beauty down there.

For the rest of my time off work I'm generally focusing on my fitness. I've had enough time to not have any excuses not to workout daily, and now I'm building a bit of a morning routine which I hope to carry with me into the craziness that is my work roster. My goal is to have the diet and fitness sorted before returning to med school so I don't have to worry about falling back into bad habits like caffeeine abuse and junk food use.

I've been still eating a mostly fruitarian diet for nearly one year now. I find the more fruit I eat, the better I feel, however cooked starchy carbs call me most afternoons/evenings. I seem to have finally broken the bread addiction, which in my opinion was the hardest to break.

My current day's food look a bit like this:
A large bowl of watermelon
About 10 mandarins and a few bananas
A few handfuls of raisins during the day as needed
Steamed potato or sweet potato or pumpkin with a handful of baby spinach
Then I make some sort of semi-raw dinner (last night was a sort of shepherds pie with raw grated zucchini/carrot/tomato layers and a layer of mashed steamed sweet potato)
And of course more water during the day
I also tend to have a few pieces of dark chocolate, maybe every second day. That's another difficult one to break.

I stopped drinking juices and now only drink water. I make the occasional watermelon smoothie or banana n'ice cream but I'm trying to eat fruit in the whole state.

My workout consists of about an hour (sometimes longer) of the Tracy Anderson Method, 6 days a week. I first do 30 mins of dance cardio, which is high-intensity, high-impact, and then 30-45 minutes of the muscular structure work which changes every 10 days. The Metamorphosis series has only 30 mins of musc, but I have an Mat DVD of heres which goes for 45-60 minutes and I really love it as it has standing legs (instead of on the ground) and more arms and abs, so I rotate that one back in every few days.

The main thing is, I'm sweating. I'm improving my cardio and I am really toning up nicely. I am not losing any weight though, which is really frustrating, but I keep reminding myself that this is a long-term process and not a quick-fix like under-carbing. I feel pretty good about how I look, it's just that it's annoying that half of my clothes don't fit. When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I'm like "Man, I'm looking good" but then I try on some of my clothes and they don't fit and I get upset. Such is life.

I am also doing taekwondo. It's on 3-4 times a week and the classes are really long at 2.5-3 hours. I'm going for my 7th kup grading next week so I'm trying to make the classes but on my annual leave I'm desperately trying to catch up with people and that gets in the way of evening training. There's also a Monday night social netball comp I'm now involved in. It's just held in my little town here, so I can even attempt to play when I'm on-call. Another girl in the team is from work so she's got it all down pat. It's good to have something to do in town.

So, I return back to week next week and I'm performing higher duties for the month, which means I wont be able to study as much, which means I'll have only 2 months of proper study before returning to med school. And...the anxiety flutters back through again.

My darling bf is currently doing assignments and studying for exams for his psych degree. He's so stressed and everything else in his life has been put on hold and he's procrastinating, and it's interesting to watch someone do that to themselves from an outside perspective. I really don't want to do that to myself when I go back to study. I did well at banning myself from stressing in the Chinese med course, but then again I was only doing 3 subjects (75% study load) and it was pretty easy compared to med school and it was only the first semester. But... saying to myself "I'm not allowed to stress" and "I'm prohibited from stressing" etc really worked well and I'll try to do this when back at med school.

Also, I've just completed the recruitment for St John Ambulance (volunteer first aid/med team service) so I will be volunteering with them as a paramedic and medical student in their medical team. They do events like the Iron Man and music festivals. I worked along them as a paramedic a few times (paid with my job) and saw other med students get some much practical experience and develop into really good emergency physicians that I want in on that action!

I've also got to tee up another observation placement at the GPs. I might ask him (the GP I shadow) if I can go in tomorrow seeing as some of my plans have opened up some space. He's only available for me to shadow Tue, Wed, and Thu. It's a really large multi-clinic so it's such a great experience for me there. I feel the volunteering stuff will give me more confidence that I can actual do this doctoring stuff. Being lost in textbooks isn't very encouraging right now.

Oh, I've also been listening to Jodie Whitely on YouTube who does hypnosis/guided meditation and I find listening to her at night sends me into a nice, deep sleep. I don't have that many sleeping problems, but with shift work and the chronic anxiety I had a while ago I found the hypnosis to be a really great tool. I can recommend it.

Tonight, I'm off to a Tibetan Buddhist centre to have a vegan meal and have a lesson on....can't remember. I think it's the Four Noble Truths or something like that. I listen to lessons occasionally on YouTube. I like the Dalai Lama, but the lessons can be long. I don't have much patience for long lectures which is why distance education works well for me.

That's my wrap up. I will try and post more again when I go back to med school. For now, it's all Kaplan and Dr Najeeb revision stuff.

Prospective OUM students

Dear Prospective (and new) OUM students!

I have heard through the grapevine that this blog may have helped a few of you decide to study at OUM! That's great!

OUM has a program in place where if a student recommends/refers a new student to OUM and then that new student goes on to study for more than 3 modules at OUM, the old student can get a reduction on their tuition fees.

If this blog has been your "referral" to OUM, then I would appreciate it if you would put my name forward. This is, of course, only if yo feel it is fair to do so. If you would like to inbox me, then as I have said from the start, please feel free to leave me a comment with your email address and I will email you quite promptly. I always do. And I wont publish your comment if it is obviously intended only for me. Other students helped me in the beginning to get the low-down on what's the go with this school.

From the start of this blog I have been very honest and frank about my studies (and other aspects of my life). I have tried to keep this blog anonymous in an attempt to be able to speak freely from my heart. This has also enabled me to comment on the pros and cons of studying at OUM. I just wanted you to know I am not getting any sort of kick-backs from OUM for this blog or anything absurd like that!

I have been engrossed in other endeavours as late and have been unable to maintain this blog. When I go back from my LoA, you never know, I might need a special place to vent again!

In case you were wondering what I'm up to atm, I have been focusing on my health and fitness, but also revising what I have studied thus far at OUM. Today I didn't feel like reading my notes or the textbooks so I watched Dr Najeeb lectures. I've dedicated a calendar month to each module. MArch is biochem month. It's the 25th and I haven't even covered a quarter of what I wanted to. I'm finding it difficult to balance to focus on my own health and my studies at this stage. I hope to resolve this dilemma before I return!

Anyway, good luck to you all out there, med students or wannabes, or whatever you are up to.

Edit: 19 Aug 2013: I've been informed that this blog does not consitute a referal and if you get to OUM via me and my blog and decide to go there because of what I have told you here, then this does not count at all and I'm not eligible for any kind of tuition reduction for doing so. I think that sucks, but that's the way it is. I obviously don't write this blog for any sort of kick-back and I will keep writing it when I can be bothered and be as honest as possible as always. Good luck!

Update

Well, I've been very busy not only working and studying but getting my side-business up and running. As it's a health related business, I also have to invest a lot of time in my own health to be a good example.

Getting really great health, I've realised, needs to be high in the priority list or it simply doesn't happen!

I am also starting a blog and vlog on the business website and I have a very active Facebook page for the business so please excuse me for not attending to this blog.

Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for leaving you!

Where have I been?

Sorry for the lack of posts as late. Mostly, seeing as my blogger ap wont work on my new phone or iPad properly it kinda makes me not want to blog as much.

The other reason is that I have a few other ventures going on on the web, mostly related to my fruitarian lifestyle so I tend to spend my creative internet energies there. I have a blog and a fb page so that takes my time up.

I also haven't' been studying med so I haven't had to unleash my frustrations anywhere lately.

I'm not quite sure what to do with this blog but I think I'll keep it open for now.

Back at work

Well I've just had 4.5 weeks off work and have return a few days early to do an overtime shift at a far away branch!

I just got home from Tasmania last night at midnight and got woken by a phone call from rosters this morning offering me an OT shift. I said yes as I am performing (and therefore being paid for) higher duties for this month. I really need to get some cash for med school.

While driving into work I was thinking to myself how I'm really happy to be gong back to work and how much I really enjoy my job. It kinda made me question again why I'd want to change careers with the good money I'm on and all the perks such as the 5-on/5-off rostrer and 10 weeks annual leave, but then again, I need to study something to keep my sanity. Tending to the herb garden just isn't stimulating enough for 40 hours a week.

I didn't realy take any photos in Tassie this time. I just chilled and slept a lot, eat food from Mum's vege garden, and just ate more food. Luckily, when you're a vegan you don't really put on any weight. Phew.

Volunteerism

Sometimes doing your dream job means doing it for free. And sometimes its just good experience. And sometimes the cause itself is worthy.

Excuse my poor grammar and lack of punctuation but I got a new phone that annoys me to use punctuation so I've gotten into some bad habits lately....

Anyway, I've begun my voluntary work with nutritionfacts.org which makes me feel very proud. It's such an amazing website and I rely on it a lot for the latest nutritional research summarised in a short day-to-understand video. My job is very simple and involves adding a nice image to the beginning of the videos. If you go to the website you will see the older videos haven't been done yet as I'm working backwards.

I've also contacted the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine about doing voluntary work with them.

The thing with voluntary work is it's more difficult to motivate yourself to do the work then paid work (der). It's more like university assignments but normally much more mundane. Seeing as I have a highly intellectually stimulating job, I forget what it's like to do something mundane. And to do it from home with no pay. It can be hard to get it done especially when there are competing aspects of your life that need your time and attention. I was hoping to do most of it at work between my own studies (at least it's all medical, right?) but seeing as I'm still on annual leave I thought I'd better do at least a few hours before I go back on the 25th.

I did some volunteering for the Burnett Institute in Melbourne and I had always wanted to work there but then when I got there it was a very different reality. Part of the problem I think is that I am moving away from international health and more towards nutritional health. Having said that, I still want to do work overseas again in developing countries but I'd like to have more control over the project I was involved in and more intellectual input. I am hoping this will be easier to accomplish once I am finally a doctor. 

Barefoot running

I just ordered my first pair of barefoot (minimalist) running shoes! I'm so excited!

I think I've finally figured out why I do and don't like running so much! I like the running but I hate wearing shoes. I am constantly complaining that they are too tight or too loose, my toes are squished or they are too heavy, too this, too that. I am hoping barefoot running will eliminate these problems and let me just run free.

Unfortunately, my feet are the softest feet you will ever meet! I have to build up the skin on them. Until that happens the Invisible Shoes I ordered will help.

I am going to do more Wii Fit and exercise dvds barefoot indoors for beginners to help strengthen the muscles in my ankles and foot arches, although I think they are pretty good as I go barefoot around the house and mostly live in thongs when I'm not at work (I even take my boots off at work when I'm at the branch, I should have seen this barefoot thing coming a long time ago....).

So, I'm really excited. I hope the shipping for the US doesn't take too long.