Royal

I guess sometimes it's worth waiting for your Prince Charming

It's over

Finally, my working week is over.  I am so happy.  I kind of fell off the workout/diet wagon over the last few days and I can't wait to get a proper night's sleep tonight and kick-off again tomorrow.

I'm really tired.  I have tried to rest as much as possible and eat well but I've still ended up with a sore throat and enlarged posterior cervical lymph nodes which is my sign that I'm run down.  My feet are even too sore to think about doing any sort of standing workout.  But I am hopeful I can get things back on track tomorrow.

I ate all those muffins already except for the two I gave my partner at work.  But, the good thing is, even though I craved those carbs, when it came to dinner time, I actually craved the balanced meals from Venice Nutrition, and have actually eaten well for 80% of the day anyway.

Muffin top

I just made some banana and walnut muffins from receipes off the Venice Nutrition website. I forgot my soy protein powder at work - drats, so they are to be eaten with a side of protein, like a protein shake (made with water). I also swapped milk for rice milk and artificial sweetener for honey, and I used gluten-free white flour and organic brown flour. So, yes, I'm quite happy with the result. From the photo you can see I already ate one - yum.

I don't really cook, and I don't bake. I really can't remember the last time I used my oven. Seriously. Maybe a year ago.

I enjoy making food when I know there's beautiful ingredients in them. My little local supermarket is a bit limited, but I can usually be creative and find the basics and the odd organic ingredient.

Maybe these muffins will help me lose my muffin top...

Tracy Anderson

So lately I've started doing my Tracy Anderson DVD workout.  I've had that DVD for about 2 years and have always thought it was great.  I find it gets me the best results for sure.  I'm not really into her cardio because I find it takes a lot of time to learn the choreography and needs too much space than my lounge room can provide, hence I've been happy doing my Zumba.

I thought I would look at her website again to see if she has released anything else, and OMG the website is totally revamped and there are heaps of ways I can give my money to Ms Anderson.  I just ordered her Metamorphosis program and I wish there was an express post option because I would have paid anything to have that right now. 

My muscles grow really quickly as I'm a mesomorph/endomorph so I get really fast results with any sort of strength training.  I've done the TA Mat DVD most days for the past fortnight and my abs and arms look awesome, if I do say so myself.  My hips and legs are tighter, but I can only occasionally glimpse the definition as I still have too much fat there, but thanks to Mark MacDonald's book, that is starting to finally shift slowly, slowly.

Last time I looked at TA's diet plan I was a bit horrified.  I can't live off that little food, especially when I workout.  I will be interested in seeing what it looks like these days.

Going back to work has really stuffed up my routine.  Being on-call, and most significantly, getting called-out really wrecks my sleeping habit - to sleep at night for at least 8 hours.  I know I am a ten-hour person, but I'd be happy with 8 during my working week then sleep bank on days off.  Last night I only got 6 and when my pager went off I was like a zombie after working 7am to 2am (the next morning).  Then we were busy all day.  I got home at 6.30pm and had a 2-hour nap, then finally a shower (!), dinner, and 1-hour TA Mat workout and now it's 9.45pm and I'm on-call overnight and back on-duty at 7am, which means if I wan 8 hours sleep (providing I don't get a call-out) I need to be in bed by.... oh crap... now.

I can already see when I start back studying I'm going to need a lot more hours in my day.....

ANZAC Day

Today I'm working but we were able to put on our "good" uniforms and go down the main street of my little town and participate in the ANZAC Day parade.  In the photos you can see we (me and my work partner and the local copper) formed up behind the CFA youth volunteers.

Nothing much

So, I didn't do much today so I'm not sure why I'm even writing this post.  I did do my workout, after a day off, but I didn't do the cardio I wanted to.  So blah.  Yep, I didn't do much....  I had two drinks last night and couldn't sleep properly, and I've already had 5x vodka, chambord, pomegranate, soda and limes, so I guess I might as well get set up for my dvd marathon now.  I go back to work tomorrow so I'm desperately trying not to feel guilty about only working out for an hour and a quarter and for eating a whole sugar-free 45g of dark chocolate, and of course the cocktails.  I also only did two OT shifts and turned down three, and I only did the dishes and bath today and didn't clean anything else.  I really could have scrubbed something I'm sure.

The world of the woman's mind is strange..... 

Study

Wow - this is the first time I've felt like studying since my exam in mid-March. I'm looking at my newest addition to my medical bookshelves, which is Lippincott's Pharmacology.

There are so many pharm questions in med exams, and right now I'm guessing a lot from recall and I can't seem to conceptually organise everything in my mind. I think pharm could easily be a stand-alone module, rather than mixed with the body systems (as is everything else except biochem, and I heard a rumor about a new research module).

So my goal is to read this text cover-to-cover. We'll see what really happens. I like the way the book is organised, which I think I mentioned before, so I'm kind of excited about it all.

I'm doing some OT again today so I hope to get enough downtime to read, vacuum my car, and do my banking. Workout will be this evening but possibly light as I'm feeling physically tired today.

Day off

Well I don't really have much to say today as I had the day off, but I'm loving days off right now.  All I did was workout, dye my hair, get some groceries, and go hangout with my friend at her place.


I miss studying medicine...

Addiction

I realised today I'm addicted to studying medicine.  My friend is studying advanced intensive care paramedic practice and asked me to proof read her assignment on infective endocarditis for her....  Well, the poor girl has red pen all over her assignment and then I was suggesting her to write about the empirical antibiotic therapy and how they work on the bacteria!  Seriously!  I think that was a bit overboard.  I was able to tell her about the modified Duke criteria which is essential when talking about IE diagnosis.  And then I really go into it, citing references she could use and latest journal articles.  Seems like all this med study is doing something to help me advance in the world of healthcare afterall.

Anyway, the major revelation was how addicted I am to it all.  I couldn't stop.  I actually miss study now and want to go back, especially seeing as I have a bit more control over my diet and exercise.  I'm back on my laptop with my glasses on.  Maybe I can actually step foot into my study room again this week.

Well, with my foot taped up I was able to do my Tracy Anderson Mat and walk for 20mins on the deadly (treadmill) at a 15% incline which was enough to get a sweat up.  So, if I'm not working tomorrow, I really need to go hard in the cardio intensity and increase the duration of the lower-intensity.  I have been thinking about when I would have my "cheat meal" this week - well it happened tonight.  My coworker wanted to go to the pub for dinner, so chicken kiev with chips and Coke then Crunchie for dessert is what happened.  At first I didn't enjoy the "dirty" food (as opposed to the clean eating I've been doing for the past 4 weeks), but then I got into it and got a real sugar-high, which I think contributed to going overboard on proof-reading my friends assignment!

Ready for action

My foot all padded with Melolin and tapped up for work

First OT

I'm doing my first overtime shift since coming back to work.  OT for me = med school tuition fees, so seeing as I'm all caught up on sleep so far, I'm happy to be here.  Today should pay for this week's fees.  Even though I'm not studying this term I still pay monthly across the year to try and make it easier.  Well, that is the theory.  IF only I could do 12 more OT shifts by the end of the week and I would be all caught up on school fees too.  Ugh.  I'm trying not to stress about it too much yet.  I still have both my kidneys to sell.

Luckily I've been fairly good with preparing food days ahead so after getting the phone call to come into work I was able to easily round-up my grub.  I also knew what I wanted to do for workout this am, so I grabbed my Tracy Anderson Mat Workout DVD, two 1kg weights, and skipping rope, and have my runners on.  We have a treadmill at work, so I'm hoping to do 30mins 15% incline walking, but, as usually, there's a "but".  I woke up with a big painful red lump under the ball of my left foot.  I'm not sure if it's a bite or if I walked on a stone and forgot.  I did stand on something sharp 2 days ago... ooh I hope it's not infected.  So I'm going to take a closer look at that before I begin.  I wont affect the Mat Workout, and I can put most of my weight on the right foot for skipping, but the walking might be difficult.  Ugh.

We had some good work yesterday so I'm glad to be back still.  I also bumped into my Mentor at the hospital and she was all like "When are we starting again!?"... It's so awesome to have a mentor that enthusiastic!

Back at work

Yesterday was my first day back at work. My first job was a flail chest with a pneumothorax. My call-out overnight was my favourite frequent-flyer drug-seeker (compared to the others).

I started off on a bad note by sleeping in (and not long enough) and missing my pre-work workout, but I made up for it with a nap and a big workout later in the day.

Win

He likes this one...

First day back

It's my first day back at work after 4 weeks off. Coupled with the early start (shift starts at 7am), I'm already feeling horrible. I couldn't sleep last night and I slept through my alarm and missed my workout this morning. I also forgot to bring my rice milk (I'm off dairy) as part of breaky. Ugh. Why me.

Hoping things will improve throughout the day.

My dog

My dog loves his toys. He loves it when I bring him home new ones from the op shop or supermarket. He certainly has his favourites. The last one I got him was this green "dental" ring. He hates it!

Update

Nothing really to report here. Went out last night and backing it up tonight. Looking forward to dancing! Last night I drank vodka, lime, and soda and I think it helped me feel better this morning than drinking my normal staple of cheap champagne.

Ramped up my workout today as I've realised I've plateued. I added more weights, high intensity intervals, then stepped up the intensity for my Zumba cardio session.

I've realised I love dancing and hate running, so I don't know how I'm going to consolidate this revelation in the future...

Fitness and sleep and stuff

So while I've had such a lengthy break from work, study, and travel, and am now near the end of the break, I am sooooo thankful I had this space to reorganise (most of) my house, take some time out for some beauty (haircut, mani-pedis, etc), to take care of "me", and mostly to get my fitness back on track.

I just bought the above book.  To be honest, it is restating a lot of the principles I already believe in but to hear Chelsea Handler rave on about it on her show Chelsea Lately, and it was only $5 on Amazon, I just had to get it and give it a read.  It has reinspired me to look at the way I'm eating and really step it up, which is worth $5 in itself.  It has also made me have a closer look at my workout routines and give that a shake up too. 

The most important think I got out of this book as the author states the number one most important thing for keeping in shape is sleep!  May favourite thing!  These four weeks has allowed me to simply sleep as long as I wanted, and after the first week of catching up on sleep-debt, I think I have been able to discover I'm a 10-hours a night person, and just how important it is for me to find those 10 hours.  It is a good foundation to take into work when I go back to shifts and on-call.  We only get 8 hour rest breaks between call-outs and starting back on-duty, which is a real problem.  Think about it - it often takes and hour from walkig through the front door to being asleepin bed, and it take me about an hour to get ready for work when I wake up.  I haven't got a solution to that problem as yet except for sleep banking.

My fitness is back to where I think it should never get below.  I've been really thinking about how I can work fitness into my everyday life, this includes working out and eating properly.

In the book he talks about at MFRK - mobile food readiness kit.  I so need one for my work bag to have in the ambulance.

As for my marathon training, I haven't been running much since I got my Zumba.  I absolutely LOVE dancing which means I enjoy my workouts - which is so important.  And the cardio from dancing is right up there with running, allowing me to at least work on my cardiovascular fitness all ready to take it out there on the road.  The weather is holding me back, so are the issues with my dog, but I know they are excuses and I need to get over it!

Bhutan

I just booked my trip to Bhutan in September! I'm so excited. Even happier that I don't have to pay the balance til tax return time!

Organised

Here's a picture of one of my dresser draws I'm so proud of.

So I think I've been blocked even just stepping foot in my study. I really have med school PTSD. My goal for this week is to get it sorted before I go back to work on Monday.

In other news, my dog hates me because I keep promising him a run but it's been too wet and cold outside for me.

The Simple Life

It's so amazing how my psyche has changed while I've been on holidays from work and study. I'm really enjoying the simple things in life such as hanging out with friends, and colour-coding the coat hangers in my wardrobe.

I still haven't organised my study room like I wanted to, but my dressing table draws are amazing. I got little plastic baskets from the cheap shop and labeled them.

Now, after having a friend over to play Zumba on Wii, I'm chilling with my furry babies.

Shopping

At some point during my holidays I bought this tshirt. Now when I see it it makes me laugh - it's so BAD! Yes, the cat's bowtie is bedazzled with rhinestones!

I don't think I initially realised how bad it was. Anyway it will do for my new obsession - yoga.

Night out

Had a great night out last night with great friends. First we went to see some of our fellow ambos that play in a coverband at country pub. Then we went into the latest and greatest club in town. Good times.

I didn't drink too much and I got to dance a lot. This morning I had green tea and did my new yoga workour on Wii. That is a change from my old life of eating Maccas. I really want to keep up this new me. I feel way better.

So I have been considering whether to put off my Nepal/Tibet trip, but when I told me friend she told me off. So I've decided I AM going. And today I've been looking through my Lonely Planet guides at some cool stuff I can do over there including, of course, yoga!

Nice day

Did the yummy-mummy thing today (well, I'm a mum of my dog and cat) and power-walked the 6km around the lake with my girlfriend, followed by a nice salmon lunch with a glass of white. Lovely. The cafe is right on the lake so it's the perfect weekday hangout for the mums with their Jeep prams.

Now I am just having some tea before getting ready for a big night out on the town!

All this fun and relaxation will make it difficult to go back to work and study.

The Super-Fly

This fly deserves his own blog post.  He survived the fly-equivalent of a tsunami in my shower.  I saw him too late last night on the bottom of the shower, so I thought I'd make it a quick painless death and washed him down the drain.  Well this morning, I saw him crawling out of the drain soaking wet.  I figured he wanted to live so I put a bit of tissue in front on him and he jumped straight on it - smart.  Now he's drying out on my bathroom windowsill.  Maybe he'll double his life expectancy and live another day.

In other not so weird news, I went for my first 5km since I got sick.  It went well.  The dog ran good and only embarrassed me twice on the main road.  I thinking a half by the end of the year, but not sure the Melbourne Marathon will be the right timing due to my travel plans in September and my sisters hens and wedding in Oct.  So I'm thinking Aug or Nov/Dec, and a full by early next year.

Limitless

One of the problems with living in a small rural town is I have to drive 40km to my car dealership for a service and new tyres.  I have a little system now - I get them to drop me off at the mall and I do a bit of shopping and watch a movie - today was the same.  Today I got a mani-pedi, ate a curry lunch, browsed many stores, spent a little (too much) money, then went and watched Limitless.  I really liked it.  It was totally my kind of film, except for the violence.  It was about getting the most out of your day, the perils of addiction, and the theory of what comes up must come down.

So I related it a lot to studying medicine.  The addiction part does not only apply to drugs, but any pharmaceutical, or anything addictive at all, and in my case - sugar and caffeine.  And also it applys to studying medicine - I mean the lead character is so addicted to intellectual high-performance but he has difficulty maintaining it at a constant.  I don't want to ruin the ending but I was satisfied and encouraged by it.

While I've been on leave I feel like my brain has been on an intellectual holiday.  In fact, I'm watching The Kardashians right now.  I'm so glad I watched that movie today as I think I got a lot out of it in terms of pushing yourself but also finding moderation to order to maintain a high-level.  I think I can certainly apply it to my marathon training as well, and virtually all areas of life.

So this is not some big revelation to me but it was nice to watch that movie.  Despite it's Hollywoodness, it was about a million times better than the last one I saw: Barney's Version.

So after all that I am really motivated again and kind of can't wait to start next term.

Chew

So I'm feeling good about my decision to drop the masters studies.  I love the saying "bite off more than you can chew, then chew like hell" but sometimes you need to know when you're about to choke!

Anyway, I feel a bit more well-balanced and I'm getting over my superficial-fixation.

That's about it for now.  Just chilling before work and med studies start up again.


PS  I didn't do my study room today because my sister came over, but I will before I go back to work for sure.

Mid-Masters crisis

I just withdrew online from my Masters units.  I'm so disappointed.  I can't do it right now.  I've been sitting at my laptop all weekend looking at this stuff I have to do and I can't do it.  I'm exhausted from work and the med degree and being sick and ....everything! 

The bad thing is I missed Census date by a week, and I don't want to think about the money I've just wasted on fees - I really don't.  The good thing is I just got sent my Graduate Certificate of International Health certificate and academic transcript, as I've completed enough for that cert so far.  At this point, I kind of feel happy to have a loose end tied up if I ended it here.  I'm not sure when I'll go back to the MIH.  It may even be after the MBBS, or it might just be next semester but only one unit.  The point is it's all a journey and this Voyager needs a break before the next mountain.

Right now is one of the first times I feel I can actually relate to people when they say "Oh, I could never go back to study - I've done enough!".  I actually feel slightly traumatised in my study room from this med degree.  I think I need to rearrange all the furniture in here before next term to move the stale energy around a bit.  At least I have spent the first week of annual leave (before I got sick) spring cleaning my house which I think will make a big difference next term in being organised and therefore staying on track.  Too bad I have not started in the study yet.

I want to grieve the loss of this Masters dream right now, but I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself because I need to get my shit together and focus on getting this med degree.  It's not just the study-load and the stress of studying medicine, it's finding the money for the tuition fees and now after a year I'm starting to resent how much it is eating into my lifestyle.  For some reason all I want to do atm is go shopping and get my hair done and do the most superficial stupid stuff that is possible in this world. I can only put it down to my brain (or ego or whatever it is) just going "Enough of this serious stuff already!  Read more Famous magazine and less New England Journal of Medicine!"

Actually, I did get a hair cut last week - the first time in 2 years.  I was sitting in the salon chair thinking "I want to be a hairdresser again!"  And then I started thinking about if I should work casually as a hairdresser instead of as a paramedic when I do my clinical modules.  Seriously!

Sometimes I question why I'm doing this to myself, and I feel right now I need to take the next two weeks I have left of annual leave and really find that motivation again.  After being only one year into this 5 year battle, this is starting to scare me a little.

Anyway, I apologise for the tone of this post because it sounds so self-centred and superficial, but it's an honest reflection of where my head it at right now.  You would think after getting a lovely email update from New Hope about my sponsor family in Cambodia about how the 3 eldest children have moved hours away to find work for $1 a day, I would be able to put things in perspective, but, no.

I'm back

I'm back on board after being so so sick this week with mega tonsillitis.  It has been going around the town, and as an ambo who normally gets tonsillitis at the drop of a hat, it wasn't hard to predict this was going to happen.

I'm fairly resilient against flu and gastro, but tonsillitis is my Achilles heel.

So I couldn't even be bothered blogging, much less studying.  Today I decided to have a look at what Masters stuff is due, and OMG, something was due yesterday, another thing is due Monday, and then another is due on the 11th.  I don't really want to spend my holidays studying.  Id' much rather be sleeping, eating, exercising, and drinking, but seeing how much more difficult it was to work and study med only a few weeks ago, I know I can easily do this and still sleep, eat, exercise, and drink.  Oops, I almost forgot my other favourite holiday pass-time - shop.

Here's uan update on my life:

• Work - none!  I'm on holidays and loving it.
• Study - see above.  Can't wait to go back to studying med next term.  Kind of wish I had more spare time/energy/motivation to revise respiratory properly, but oh well.  Still gald I' doing the MIH as I keep thinking of my dream goal to work OS.
• Marathon - no run for a week due to illness.  Walked the dog slowly today and did yoga.  Thinking run on Monday.  Will reassess fitness and everything next week.  I didn't make the 5km x-country on the weekend.  I was so disaapointed about that, but what can you do.
• House - amazingly clean thanks to holidays. Garden needs help.
• Lovelife - still no comment.
• MoH - we're doing flowers now after sorting the wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses.

One good thing about getting sick though, is that I've kicked most of my caffeine and sugar addictions, and virtually all dairy.  Yay.  I wanted to anyway but when I got sick I couldn't stomach anything really, so I detoxed my guts a bit and am trying really,really hard to put only good "clean food" in my mouth.  Feeling much better for it.  My favourite is soda water with lemon juice, green tea, roast chicken (no skin, obviously), brown rice, and green salad with olive oil, lemon juice and black pepper.