Things to do today

I just got back from the BF's. I took the train back which took about 4.5hours. I trundled my suitcase down the road home, but I got to go past my favourite foal and Shetland pony that are currently living on an acre spare block in the town. They are so friendly. I love to feed them the long green grass they can't reach over the fence.

My dog is currently naked after he busted out of his collar like the Incredible Hulk busting out of shackles. I, the BF, the dog, and the BF's dog were all at the end of our 4.5km run on Monday when they went silly and the dog decided he needed to go and chase some poor innocent sheep. He will be nude until tomorrow. I was going to oder him a reflective collar from eBay but now I think he needs a strong chain.
-----
I almost finished my History essay on the train so I just have to do that today and hand it in tomorrow at TCM school.

Today, I also have to do my fitness test for the 12wbt. This is what is (roughly) involved;

• 1km run time trial
• pushups - as many as possible
• sit-ups - different levels of difficulty
• "wall-sit" (holding the squat position against a wall for as long as possible
• flexibility test

Then Michelle gives you ranges and if you, for example, do 21-35 pushups then you're in the Intermediate  Group. Participants are divided into Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced (and then there's the Lean and Strong group for those who don't actually want to lose weight).

-----

Other things on my to-do list today: get uniforms ready for working week, get workout gear ready for week, get grocery shopping list from 12wbt (it's released tomorrow - perfect timing as I'm in Melbourne where the "good" groceries are), and finish this history essay.

Running

The scene of today's 3.5km cross-training run on hills and sand.

I didn't want to go but the BF motivated me. He said I'd feel better. He was right.

Ubud dreaming

Well I'm at working writing an essay for TCM but every now and then I like to Google Bali and have a look at what I might like to do over there.

Right now I'm looking at hotels. Budget would be good, but the pool in this photo would be excellent.

Ok back to writing my essay on the Chinese immigrants during the Gold Rush.

Bloody tonisilitis

I get up early one morning on my fatigue break and I get run down enough to get bloody tonisilitis again. Or according to my TCM doctor, I have a Blood deficiency. Great. Anyway I'm really upset. I have been working hard at getting myself well and motivating myself with running and I get so sick. It's really bad this time, my right side gums and neck is so painful. Ugh. I don't even have any spare time to get acupuncture so I don't know what I'm gonna do. Feeling quite glum.

Bali

Flights to Bali purchased! Yay! First two nights in Seminyak paid! Yay!

Looking at Ubud and Gili Islands too......

6 weeks til Bali

Oh I cannot wait! I can't believe I'm a 33-year old Aussie that's never been to Bali!

Things I want to do there:

• Sunshine
• Beach
• Surf
• Snorkel
• Dive
• Hike volcano
• Ride scooters
• Massage
• Cocktails in coconuts
• Sleep undisturbed throughout the night 
• Tree-top walk
• See temples
• Eat local cuisine

Marathon....in Antarctica

I think some time ago I talked about wanting to do a marathon. That goal sort of goal pushed aside and forgotten about with the commitments of med school and my fitness falling by the wayside. Well now the idea is in my mind again. It's just something I have to do for myself. But finding motivation is quite difficult...until yesterday. I worked with someone who just came back from running a marathon in Antarctica! There's a 4-year wait list but I'm putting myself down for the 2015 wait list and the 2016 confirmed list!

I tell ya, it is much more motivating to get up in this icy windy weather and run when you know you're preparing to run in Antarctica! My friend said it was about -2oC with a windchill factor of about -5oC. That's pretty much what it is here in Winter at night. I know this because I often have to refuel the ambulance in these conditions.

It's probably about 8oC today with a windchill to 5oC. It was that sideways stinging rain, and the hill I run up atm is nicknamed Windy Hill. I ran 3km today. My goal is to run 3km until I can do it non-stop, then increase to 4km and do this increasing consistently until I'm planning to do my first marathon next year. Depending on how much I enjoy it (or not) my rough goal is to maintain a good level of fitness and running until preparing for Antarctica.

So, it's quite expensive to get there. Around $7000 from America, so add another $2500 for flights from Melbourne. I've given myself a goal of saving $10k in 3 years (although I may have 4 years). So, yesterday, I opened a special savings account named "Antarctica" and my goal is to deposit $1 for every km I run from now on. Oh, and the other special condition is that it must be running continuously. So today for example I ran up to the top of the hill which was 1.5km and then I walked a bit then started running again (for a total of 3kms). So now I'm going to move $1.50 to that special savings account! Woo-hoo! I'm on my way!

I have to run on average 63km per week for 3 years (to save enough money). When people train for marathons they run about 100km per week. When I got up this morning I thought to myself, "I need to get some k's under my belt to get some savings!" So, you see, it's double-edged blade of motivation.

The idea of running a marathon in Antarctica is highly motivating for me. It's not just the Melbourne marathon, or New York or Paris... it's Antarctica! Yep, I need a BIG goal for big motivation and I've found it.

If it ain't rainin'...

...it ain't trainin'.


Sorry about the sideways picture again, but this was my run this morning in the cold and rain up Windy Hill and towards a rainbow!

Light-bulb moment in TCM

I had a light-bulb moment in TCM class last week that I am still thinking about now. Although I got told this at the start of class, I can't explain how good it is to finally get it now.

In TCM school we learn about the Heart, the Stomach, and the Spleen, the Blood, and the Marrow amongst other things. These all have an English translation from the Chinese work, i.e. Blood in Chinese is Xue. I wish they left the Chinese names because it would be easier.

I found out that the organs listed in TCM are always with a capital letter or have a capital letter abbreviation such as Stomach is ST. This is to distinguish it from the stomach as we understand it in the Western culture. "You're thinking like a Westerner" is what one of my lecturers keeps saying. How true.

Anyway, as I now write my essay on Essence, Qi, Blood, and Body Fluids I am so glad I found out about the capitalisation beforehand! Doh! Apparently there's something on this in the Maciocia text but I don't own that one yet as I bought the one from the required textbook list. Doh.

For example, the Spleen is much more like the duodenum in function. Maybe it is the duodenum. TCM doesn't care too much about which actually physical structure does what. Where Western medicine loves to specify and narrow-down, TCM seems to want to be concerned with the general picture.

Anyway, I am absolutely loving studying both. I really want to remain doing both. This inspires me to remain calm and not stress-out. I don't have enough stress to go around two different medical courses.

Well back to my essay writing. It's actually very easy and placid and enjoyable.

Week 1 down

One week down of eating healthy and exercising without counting calories or anything like that. Just generally getting my body prepared for the 12wbt beginning in about a week. I only lost 400g for what I thought was a good effort and therefore had a meltdown in my closet. I've eaten so friggin clean except Saturday night and exercised every day except Sunday. I guess I'll have to step it up. A lot. I'm willing to burn 600kcal a day as per the 12wbt so I've ordered my new heart rate monitor watch which counts calories burnt during exercise. If you don't have one that does that, here's a formula I found (for females)

((-20.4022+(0.4472xHR)-(0.1263xW)+(0.074xA))/4.184)x60xT
HR = average heart rate as beats per minute
W = weight in kilograms
A = age in years
T = time of exercise duration in minutes

Today my Michelle Bridges workout DVDs arrived so I have more options for working out at home and different to the Tracy Anderson ones I've been doing for the past few years.


Starting weight (14/05/12): 67kg (BMI 24.6)

Current weight: 66.6kg

Goal weight 1: 65kg

Goal weight 2: 63kg

Goal weight 3: 61kg

Goal weight 4: 59kg

End goal weight: 57kg (BMI 20.9)

Ultimate goal weight: 54kg (BMI 19.8)

Daily digest

It's quite difficult to design a house with one container already configured. I've tried so many different configurations and the best one I've come up with has as removing half an already plastered wall and tearing up carpet from one small room. Also, I'm having trouble fitting in a walk-in wardrobe in the master bedroom.

My BF said I didn't need a walk-in wardrobe and that I needed to let go of my ego. Damn I taught him too well. I understand in the beginning we will have limited space, but I'm designing our dream home here and my dream home have a walk-in wardrobe, even if it's my ego's dream.

Last night I was too dead tired to do any workout and I ran out of time. This morning I got up late at 6.30am and did a 30min workout on the Wii but it said I only burnt 100kCal. It was fun though. My BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) is 1440kCal, and if I have a sedentary day I would burn incidentally 1630kCal. I believe you need to be in a 500kCal deficit per day to lose 0.5kg/week. I think the 12wbt diet is around 1200kCal/day, meaning technically I would need to burn an extra 70kCal/day to lose 0.5kg per week (<30mins on the Wii), and 570kCal/day to lose 1kg per week. that's a massive difference. So, yeh, the 12wbt diet plus30mins of Wii a day = 0.5kg per week, or run for an hour a day would be -1kg/week.

Edit: Ok I just read the 12wbt forum and apparently I need to aim to burn 600kCal per day, so I guess I better get used to running as 3 hours on the Wii is a bit time consuming!

Anyway, I have to write my oral presentation for TCM history class so I better get cracking.

Our Container House

About 6 months ago the BF and I started thinking about building a second house. He has some land classified as rural living and is about 5 acres. What we really want is to work towards living a simple life that is fairly self-sufficient and low-cost and virtually debt-free. A massive mortgage is not what we want. We want to be able to take time off work and travel whenever we need to and not feel the stress of making enough for mortgage repayments. Living consciously and ethically with the environment in mind is also part of the plan. Renting out the one I'm currently in to ensure ourselves another asset for financial security.

 We started looking around at housing ideas and funnily enough we both we interested in the concept of converting shipping containers into homes. Containers are generally a standard shape and size (the come in 6m and 12m, and special heights too) and are designed to be modular, stackable, weather and vermin proof, cheap to manufacture, and have the strength in their corners thus allowing for doors and windows wherever. It is recycling of old containers and is extremely affordable. More and more people are doing it, and even in our shire, which makes is easier for us to convince the local authorities of our plans.

 So, just this weekend, the BF bought our first container! We will be using 12m containers of standard height, beginning with one and expanding as we go to eventually about 6-8, and maybe another for storage (shed). Our first container is partially converted into a dwelling already. It is roofed, floors, insulated and plastered, wired, plummed, partially painted, and has the kitchen carcas installed. We need to do a few things such as the kitchen doors and bench top, cooker, the entire bathroom, and the electrical switchboard, and then we're ready to move in! We want at least a second one before fully moving in and with timing of everything we may have am a bit more progress before we move in.

 So today I'm designed the finally layout and working backwards to our modular plan so we know where to position the first container, and then the second and so forth so as minimal changes need to be made once we've already done some work, ie we don't want to be ripping up the tiles we just laid a few months earlier. Also, I have the feng shui bagua to help me with the plan.

Pinyin

Chinese Pinyin song

Our literacy and terminology teacher at TCM school plays this at the start and during each break of class.

Hiking

The BF and I went on a lovely hike of Tarra Bulga National Park yesterday. It's an ancient forrest with giant gums towering above, and lush ferns growing like crazy underneath. The nice suspesion bridge in the picture is a nice addition to the walk.

It was raining a little but that added to the romance of the place - it was very rainforest-like.

I had my first experience hugging a tree which was interesting. I tried to feel and listen to the tree and notice it's qi. MY BF might have thought it was silly, but telling him about the power of harnessing qi in the martial art of Kung Fu certainly gained his interest.

☮

Even if I didn't enjoy TCM....

....I'd probably still come to class to be around the very intelligent, wise, warm, and kind people that are my classmates. Today we learnt about the formation of blood and qi, the relationship between the liver and spleen, and the relationship between the lungs and kidneys. Then in the history class we went through about the 200-600CE era in China. In preparation for the looming exam I've breifly revised what we've done in the Foundations of TCM class so far, here are the topics we've done per week; *yin and yang *five element theory *essence, qi, blood, body fluids *heart, lung *spleen, liver *kidney, original qi, Ming men *fu organs (stomach, small intestine, large intestine, urinary bladders, gallbladder, san jioa) *extraordianry organs (brain, bones, marrow, uterus, blood vessels, gallbladder) *cause of disease (environmental and emotional) *formation of blood and qi In my Resources page there is a link to Cat's TCM Notes. There she has put up her notes from her TCM course which are much better than I could provide at this time, for anyone that's curious to discover more of what I've been learning. I can't wait to get into TCM pathology though, so I can incorporate some more ideas into my Lotus Jewel Health wellness program. Today, for example, we spoke about blood stasis causing sharp localized pain, and the relationship between the kidneys and willpower, motivation, and energy. Chronic pain and lack of energy are two common medical complaints that are often not easily or well-treated, let alone cured, but western medicine alone. I got my nose pieced yesterday, on a sort of a whim, and I've occasionally forgot about it through the day, feeling a scratching feeling in my nose. They chilli I had at lunch also didn't help things when my nose started running. This weekend I'm staying at the BF's and we have a hike planned tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that and hope be able to post a photo. Also, he bought a portable home for us this week, so I get to see it in person and I am the desingated interior designer. He/we already had a flat, rural 5 acres it's going on so that's very exciting to have this progress with this other property of ours and to be another significant step closer to our dream of self-sustainability. It's only small, but it's livable and modularity suitable for extensions over time, space, and money!

The Michelle Bridges 12-Week Body Transformation

So I've signed up to do the Michelle Bridges 12-Week Body Transformation program (www.12wbt.com).

Four weeks of preseason started this week and our first task was to list all our regular excuses and to provide solutions for them all. I have it printed out stuck right under my alarm clock! I also helps that I have a bikini-clad trip to Bali in 9 weeks. It's also my 34th birthday (it looks way older to see it written down) a week after the 12wbt round ends, so that's good motivation too. And then of course Summer starts again. And I promised myself if I deferred this year of med school that I would use the extra free time to get my fitness (and budget) sorted out. I have to be true to my own word to myself otherwise it will be so demoralising.

I put on 10kg in a rapid 3 months when I met my new BF last year. I guess love is a powerful drug. I was also under incredible stress at med school and financially too, working too much and not getting enough sleep, and I also started on Implanon (I had that removed 2 weeks ago) so there's a few confounding factors. One positive thing I learnt was I still think I look attractive even after increasing by nearly 20% of my body weight. I don't have to be afraid of ugly fatness which means I'm wanting to lose weight to go towards something, not running away from something I'm terrified of happening. I just hat show tight my clothes are right now and if I'm going to buy a new wardrobe full of clothes, they will be size 8s or 10s, not 12s and 14s.

Even though the round starts in 4 weeks, I will begin exercising and eating healthy now anyway. Today was my first day of exercise in forever. I have today off (first "day" off in 7 days but working night shift tonight), the sun was out and the weather forecast said it might rain later. I was lying in bed thinking, oh no my ego's gonna start talking any minute so I just got up and out of bed and got organised. Even though my wardrobe is organised, I really need to lay out my workout gear the night before. At least my shoelaces on my runners were undone unlike usual.

The dog was happy and we only had one incident involving an alpaca and now I have rope burn on my hand and a mildly sprained ankle. He behaves better when running as opposed to walking so that's even more motivation for me to keep the pace up. We ran about 50% and walked about 50%. We ran to nearly the first corner, so next time will be making it to the corner.

We just did the smaller 2.5km loop but it's good to be back. On the run I was thinking about doing some resistance training but then I came home and got on the computer and now that idea's completely gone. I'll also have to set up the workout space again so I can get straight into it. Also, I don't have any groceries which really sucks as I'm so hungry.

So I'll be using this preseason time to do the 12wbt tasks but also to get my routine in place so I can start the actual round in full swing. The routine I mean is the laying out of workout clothes the day before, checking the weather forecast, getting the DVD player back in the front lounge room where there's space to workout, and getting over my dread of treadmills. Also, of planning and shopping for groceries with meal plans and planning my "free" meal for the week. Also, my glass of red at night needs to be replaced with herbal teas.

I'll be labelling my posts about my journey on the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation as "12wbt" so if you're just here to read about that aspect of my life and not all the other random musings about ego and boring detail about studying biochemistry, then on the side of the screen there's a pull-out tab and just choose labels and then 12wbt.

So, I will be posting my weights here which is embarrassing but it's to remain accountable and I will post them every Sunday until the end of the round on Sunday the 26th of August.

Current weight: 67kg (BMI 24.6)
Goal weight 1: 65kg
Goal weight 2: 63kg
Goal weight 3: 61kg
Goal weight 4: 59kg
End goal weight: 57kg (BMI 20.9)
Ultimate goal weight: 54kg (BMI 19.8)

Wish me luck!

Biochem lectures on YouTube

I've found a new series of really good biochem lectures for Step 1 on YouTube.

Dr Mungli

Can't wait for more from him :D

Medical school drop-out - undo, undo, undo

Giving myself the space to think about it, I don't want to quit western med school. So, I haven't dropped out, I've deferred.

What am I gonna do - Western or TCM? I really don't know. I wish they had a double-degree in both.

Until then stay tuned as we muddle our way through this together.....

Back to basic sciences

I'm having a refresher look at my biochem book again today. It's the Lippincott's Biochemistry Illustrated Review.

It's much more enjoyable the second time around and with no deadlines to speak of. This time I'm able to understand things before I move on, without having to photo-memorise huge chunks of information and hoping to regurgitate it at the exam.

That's about it. I'm acting-up in high-duties at work so I have a few tasks to do here. My To-Do list this week is looking big so I better get going.

Website development

So my new website Lotus Jewel Health is developing nicely but slowly. It takes so much work. I spent hours on my first blog post about Statins. I wanted to make sure it was just right.

I have spoken to two people about being contributing authors so I'm so excited about that. I'm also looking at a supplement product supplier right now. So cool.

So I think I'm gonna go back to western med school. As soon as I made my decision to let it go, I couldn't. I think Jan 2013 I will go back, meaning I've had about 9-10 months off.

Stay tuned for more.

My new website

I've been developing a website over the last few days. It's called Lotus Jewel Health. It's based on the theory of integrative medicine and promoting well-being. It's basically all the stuff I love and practice and study (!) in a site which I'm hoping will be an enjoyable place to visit at the very least, informative would be good, and maybe even helps people to access their own healing by empowering them with knowledge.

Yes, I am planning to monetories it, but ethically of course! I have never monetorised this blog, but the site is a professional endeavour. But, of course, it has to be something I'm really passionate about and enjoy doing. I'm not giving up my day job just yet. Ha!

The mind is an addict

Reading something yesterday about the ego stuck with me: The mind is hyperactive and an addict. That's right, it's addicted to desire and wanting more. It's addicted to attaching meaning to things. And that's not all. It never stops.

So I read an interesting article about ego and addiction here by an ex-drug addict neuroscientist. If anything, I'm a workaholic for sure. And a studyaholic. But drug addiction allows an interesting look into the mind. And the concept of "ego fatigue" mentioned in the article: I totally get that. I have always said I can either diet or balance my budget, but I can't do both at once. Follow up on  this post on what happens when your limbic system is destroyed... It seems we can't have a limbicectomy and function as regular humans :(

When I did my neuro term at the start of the year and I read about the limbic system I thought "Thats' the ego!" Hahaha. That's the back-seat driver of our mind that attaches meaning to things that says "Something's wrong" when all you're doing is sitting watching tv (ie I am too lazy, I should be doing this or that, the neighbours are too noisy etc). It's that part that causes you to break your willpower and somehow convince you it was a good idea to eat a whole block of chocolate to yourself. No-wonder the yogis starve themselves to reach nirvana - they're breaking the limbic system's control.

Well, this is my theory from a 2nd year med student.

So, yeh, the ego is a hyper-active addict. So what to do? My best advice I can give is to take notice. Notice it is the ego and not the real "you", the spiritual being. As Osho said in the link I put in my last post, the ego is a reflection of how other perceive you and therefore how you perceive yourself, but it is not your true self. Meditation, of course, is a way of doing a workout for the mind and strengthening the brain's ability to make better decisions than simply reflex reactions.

so why am I harping on about ego so much atm? I believe it is the centre of everything. If ego fatigue occurs, and I can't save and diet at the same time let alone have a healthy study habit, and my health goes downhill as a consequence, then doesn't it make sense that we deal with the ego? Maybe it doesn't because how I've written it. Also, in Buddhist philosophy, controlling our mindset is the only way to achieve happiness.

The next problem: How do we find motivation if the limbic system is the source of our motivation?

This is the question I always have unanswered: can there be great achievers in the world without ego? Or are we all going to live off our own vege-patches and be merry in our simplicity? Can we even help people without ego, because it feels good to help people?

Sorry for the rhetorical questions. I hate rhetorical questions.

I'll have to give my interim answer right now as something along the lines of finding the middle way. That would be Easterner for moderation.....

Osho's ego

Here's a really great link to Osho's description of the ego:

http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm

And everyone should read Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. It's a must!

Ego talking

The sky looks wonderful this afternoon as the sun sets.


I spent the first 13.5 hours of today in bed. I was catching up from the last week of working call and studying etc.


Yesterday I bought Deepak Chopra's Wii game called Leela. It's meditation and mindfulness through play, or something like that. I really like it. It's about the seven chakras and I can't wait to make it up to the throat chakra level lol I think this game would be better for XBox Kinect so you can use your whole body instead of just the Wii controller, but nonetheless I'm still enjoying it. There's a play section and a still section where you meditate - guided meditation or silent meditation. It's awesome. You even get to create your own mandala as your avatar.

So after spending too much time in bed this morning I woke up with the most massive ego. I had a friend who swore if you lay in bed awake your ego gets too much of a chance to take hold. And so it was. I felt I needed the rest but whoa! After about 2 hours out of bed it finally subsided. I tried simply observing and trying to find the root cause of the disharmony. It was perhaps a simple case of stress i.e. a feeling of not enough resources to meet the demands which came from me feeling like I didn't get enough rest this weekend because the BF was over and I was working on-call etc.

I did some vacuuming and vented to the BF a little - blamed him of course. Pointed out it was his fault and also the injustices of our relationship i.e. he should come to mine more than I go to his because I work more hours than he does. Luckily he had no idea what I was on about and knew just to give me a minute or two to calm down. About 3 or 4 strangely auto-corrected vent-text messages later, I felt completely fine. Weird. Vacuuming helped a lot too, but I was still feeling off and guilty for having a rubbish breakfast.

Then I played Leela and I feel wonderful and inspired. I even feel motivated to have a good dinner.

I asked my very wise friend who is currently living in an ashram what was going on and she said what I feel is true - my ego is at the surface now because it's under threat. I'm not feeding it as much as I used to (well, I don;t think so) so it's beginning to stalk and circle like a wolf. I know what it's doing and it's no longer in control.

Of course, I've had my eye on my ego for about 7 years now, but it's still had almost complete control of the reins during this time.