I wanted to quickly update on where I am right now with my stress, motherhood, and my clinical placements.
Stress: much, much better. So it turns out that after 8 years as a paramedic I do have some PTSD which motherhood and an unfortunate incident triggered. I was also living in a place where I felt unsafe. I will NEVER put myself or my children in that situation again. I have returned back to work and MY house now and things are so much better. The stress at work is completely manageable, but if something happens that makes me feel the personal security of my child is threatened, I have a strong, physiological response (shaking, racing heartbeat). I know I have some work to do on this because I'd like to do some travel etc and I can't always control my environment. It has been a horrible time in my life and it has made me realise the safety of my nest is paramount.
Motherhood: It's getting easier now Bubby is 13 months. She's a bit easier to manage these days. Being back at work has helped me feel more "normal", and I schedule one day a month for myself where she goes to daycare and I do my own thing. She's in daycare 2-3 days per week which is perfect for all of us. This won't be the case when I do my next clinical placement, which I'm a bit worried about. Today, for example, I took the day off work sick (I was really crook yesterday and a bit better today but still sent her to daycare). I am getting everything done in one day lol. I also get everything done at work in my downtime between jobs.
Placements: I have 32 weeks to go. I need: O+G (8 weeks), surgery (4 weeks), IM (12 weeks), and 8 weeks of electives. I am currently speaking to four local hospitals that all sound promising. I have until March 2017 to complete all these plus my final MCQ exam and OSCE. Then I'm done! I am hoping to be done next year though and then look at internships.
Internships: so, if I do my AMC in time I can apply to Australian hospitals for internship. If not, I have to wait until the following year. I am HAPPY to take an extra year to prep for AMC and get a good score, also to work a bit longer as an ambo and maybe save some money before I drop down from senior paramedic to junior doctor. I'm looking at internship in Australia, Samoa, or NZ at this stage.
Here's the thing: I'm 8 years in my job. We get 4 months long service leave at 10 years, which you may take early (from 8.5 years) if you intend to stay until 10 years. I am thinking about potentially doing my internship in Samoa (or elsewhere) while on LSL (8 months half-pay, plus accrued annual leave). That's the game plan atm. I will also see what is around in Australia and what is best for the family. My partner loves the idea of living overseas for a year. I, however, "like" the idea of a sibling for my daughter and there's no way I'm going to be pregnant or have a baby as a medical student (again) or in Samoa. And as I'm 37, I'm running out of time (and for anyone who says I can have a baby at 42, I think they're mad).
Goals: visualise with me here please! (Hey, I wanted to add you really need to write down your goals so you can work towards them, otherwise who do you know here you're going...?)
Stress: much, much better. So it turns out that after 8 years as a paramedic I do have some PTSD which motherhood and an unfortunate incident triggered. I was also living in a place where I felt unsafe. I will NEVER put myself or my children in that situation again. I have returned back to work and MY house now and things are so much better. The stress at work is completely manageable, but if something happens that makes me feel the personal security of my child is threatened, I have a strong, physiological response (shaking, racing heartbeat). I know I have some work to do on this because I'd like to do some travel etc and I can't always control my environment. It has been a horrible time in my life and it has made me realise the safety of my nest is paramount.
Motherhood: It's getting easier now Bubby is 13 months. She's a bit easier to manage these days. Being back at work has helped me feel more "normal", and I schedule one day a month for myself where she goes to daycare and I do my own thing. She's in daycare 2-3 days per week which is perfect for all of us. This won't be the case when I do my next clinical placement, which I'm a bit worried about. Today, for example, I took the day off work sick (I was really crook yesterday and a bit better today but still sent her to daycare). I am getting everything done in one day lol. I also get everything done at work in my downtime between jobs.
Placements: I have 32 weeks to go. I need: O+G (8 weeks), surgery (4 weeks), IM (12 weeks), and 8 weeks of electives. I am currently speaking to four local hospitals that all sound promising. I have until March 2017 to complete all these plus my final MCQ exam and OSCE. Then I'm done! I am hoping to be done next year though and then look at internships.
Internships: so, if I do my AMC in time I can apply to Australian hospitals for internship. If not, I have to wait until the following year. I am HAPPY to take an extra year to prep for AMC and get a good score, also to work a bit longer as an ambo and maybe save some money before I drop down from senior paramedic to junior doctor. I'm looking at internship in Australia, Samoa, or NZ at this stage.
Here's the thing: I'm 8 years in my job. We get 4 months long service leave at 10 years, which you may take early (from 8.5 years) if you intend to stay until 10 years. I am thinking about potentially doing my internship in Samoa (or elsewhere) while on LSL (8 months half-pay, plus accrued annual leave). That's the game plan atm. I will also see what is around in Australia and what is best for the family. My partner loves the idea of living overseas for a year. I, however, "like" the idea of a sibling for my daughter and there's no way I'm going to be pregnant or have a baby as a medical student (again) or in Samoa. And as I'm 37, I'm running out of time (and for anyone who says I can have a baby at 42, I think they're mad).
Goals: visualise with me here please! (Hey, I wanted to add you really need to write down your goals so you can work towards them, otherwise who do you know here you're going...?)
- Graduate from med school mid-2016
- AMC exam early 2017
- Apply for internships in 2017 for 2018 start
- 2018 first year as a doctor, Bubby will be 3-4 years old and in kinder. I will be 40!!!
- I will be 40, but look and feel 30!
- Internship local and do a year as dr overseas after, or the inverse
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