Back at med school

I'm back studying at med school. Things are going ok so far, but my initial thoughts of having a more balanced life seem impossible now only a few weeks back. I'm beginning to wonder how other people do it.

I guess I'm already a little disheartened by my grades so far. Mostly, because I thought I was doing really good. In my mentor meetings I feel confident, like I know what I'm talking about. I read about the diseases and think "Oh yeh, I know this" and cross read other references and it all looks familiar, I actually complete the allocated readings, then all of a sudden it's quiz time and one week I do amazing, and then next really poorly. I can't make heads or tails of it.

I suppose all I can do is hope they will take me back into the MBBS program if the MD thing doesn't work out. I can't believe how negative I sound already. I guess this is a good warning to potential med students that it can be a real hit on the self esteem.

My parents are coming over from interstate to visit and I've basically had to tell them that I don't have time to spend with them. They're all like "Just one day together will be fine" and I'm seriously thinking "No, I don't even have one day". I have a really good mate's baby shower on the weekend, I promised my best friend I'd help her prepare for it by making the vegan food, and another party back in my bf's hometown and I'm basically cancelling on everyone. I feel dreadful.

To make matters worse, I feel I can't train and I'm still off work with a broken toe. Talk about feeling completely useless right now. At least I don't have major anxiety like last time or chronic fatigue.

To sum things up, I suppose things are not going well for me back at med school after all. They were last week and I didn't feel like blogging so excuse me while I vent now. I guess this is how I got into this blogging in the first place! If things keep going bad for me, then expect more posts. If you don't see any, then assume things are going well.

One positive thing is, I do have a really good academic advisor this time. She is very friendly, helpful, and supportive. Do you remember that the last one laughed at me (literally in my Skype-face) because I didn't have a solid microbio background? My new ones is all like: "Med students always put too much pressure on themselves. You can't know everything. It's ok not to do well in everything - you're still learning." I know some people prefer tough love, but I like the softer approach and gentle reassurance. I also like the fact she sounds like Oprah, although I haven't been exposed to many people with that type of accent in rural Australia.

Perhaps, one of the worst things is, I feel like I would make a really good doctor. I feel like I "get" things quickly and can work my way through diagnoses no problems. It's frustrating me that I'm stuck in the purgatory of pre-clinical.

That is all. Excuse my complaining. I'll try and end on a positive note, perhaps some sort of positive affirmation, each time to avoid the bad mental state I got myself in last time I was studying at med school. I don't want to get those grey hairs back again. It may not be original, as I need practice, but here goes:

I can do this. Whatever it takes, I have the ability.

Edit: My former mentor is mentoring me again, I've been told I have to repeat neuro at 50% tuition if I want to complete an MD (MD>75% vs MBBS>60% as I got 60) although they didn't offer it this term so I'm doing renal and seeing how I go (if I get 60-75 then I'd seriously consider changing back to MBBS if they will allow me - I haven't asked - and not worry about the USMLEs for now), and my tax return pretty much covered my tuition fees but I wasn't able to do a 12-month tuition plan until January so I have had to pay a whole module. Oh, and I broke my big toe during my taekwon-do tournament and have had the past 6 weeks off work!

No playing doctor today, and feeding my dog a vegan diet

The GP I observe wasn't abe to have me today as he already had other medical students booked in.

That's ok becaue tonight I go and get officially recruited as a student doctor with St John's. Woohoo! Unfortunately, my uniform will probably be badged as "paramedic", but I'll know deep down inside that I'm a student doctor lol

Today: I have no other plans. I normallly do my workout first thing in the morning, but I felt a bit lazy today. As long as it's done before 6pm, so I'll plan to start it at 4:30. Until then it's food and Facebook.

Last night at the Buddhist Gompa was really good. I had my vegan meal (I couldn't have dessert as it had dairy in it) of pumpkin and lentil soup and a main of tofu noodle satay and a massive green salad. Delish. I had water with my meal and I heard another lady say she was going to have a cup of tea so she could stay awake during the lesson...Not sure that's a good idea. I am pretty anti-caffeine these days. Clean carbs are the new caffeine....

The Geshe spoke of how wisdom means love and compassion for others, but that this must start with ourselves; how we must not just eat what tastes good, but what is good for our bodies. We cannot love others without loving ourselves first. He also spoke of, basically, peer pressure and adopting the habits of those around us, and when our peers leave, the habits become ours and harmful to ourselves. He used drinking and smoking as examples, but to me it resonated with general modern living and this toxic food environment we live in.

I've also started my dogs on a transition to vegan diet. I thought it was mean at first, but then I read about how healthy it makes dogs, and how they can live to a really old age, I thought it was mean NOT to put them on a vegan diet. I think I wont make them strictly vegan, but their daily meals will now consist of about 90% fresh vegetables like steamed root vegetables and grated zucchini and carrot. My dog had watermelon for a snack this mornign for breakfast with me. He wasn't sure at first, but then he loved it and kept coming back for more. There are heaps of resources on the web to find out what foods are ok for dogs. Bascially, grapes/raisins/sultanas are bad, apple seeds, and tomatoes, garlic, and onions. Everything else seemed logical to me: no chocolate, no caffeine, no big pips from stone fruit (choking hazard). It's best to feed them root vegetables cooked, as you do to humans. They also need more fat in their diet than humans do, so coconut oil and peeanut butter seem to be a popular choice. Oh, macadamia nuts and avocadoes are out too.

Here's a link to the ASPCA guide.

Anyway, I'm probably going to find a good few recipes for them and stick to it, so it's not that difficult really. So far what I've been making them I could easily eat myself, so maybe I will do that in the future - make batches for all of us omnivores! (It's funny, I always thought humans were omnivores and dogs were carnivores, but now I think humans are herbivores and dogs are true omnivores...)

Another random update

I'm on annual leave at the moment, so I'm enjoying not stressing about anything.

I just got back from a most excellent road trip in Tasmania where I got to enjoy the magnificent natural beauty down there.

For the rest of my time off work I'm generally focusing on my fitness. I've had enough time to not have any excuses not to workout daily, and now I'm building a bit of a morning routine which I hope to carry with me into the craziness that is my work roster. My goal is to have the diet and fitness sorted before returning to med school so I don't have to worry about falling back into bad habits like caffeeine abuse and junk food use.

I've been still eating a mostly fruitarian diet for nearly one year now. I find the more fruit I eat, the better I feel, however cooked starchy carbs call me most afternoons/evenings. I seem to have finally broken the bread addiction, which in my opinion was the hardest to break.

My current day's food look a bit like this:
A large bowl of watermelon
About 10 mandarins and a few bananas
A few handfuls of raisins during the day as needed
Steamed potato or sweet potato or pumpkin with a handful of baby spinach
Then I make some sort of semi-raw dinner (last night was a sort of shepherds pie with raw grated zucchini/carrot/tomato layers and a layer of mashed steamed sweet potato)
And of course more water during the day
I also tend to have a few pieces of dark chocolate, maybe every second day. That's another difficult one to break.

I stopped drinking juices and now only drink water. I make the occasional watermelon smoothie or banana n'ice cream but I'm trying to eat fruit in the whole state.

My workout consists of about an hour (sometimes longer) of the Tracy Anderson Method, 6 days a week. I first do 30 mins of dance cardio, which is high-intensity, high-impact, and then 30-45 minutes of the muscular structure work which changes every 10 days. The Metamorphosis series has only 30 mins of musc, but I have an Mat DVD of heres which goes for 45-60 minutes and I really love it as it has standing legs (instead of on the ground) and more arms and abs, so I rotate that one back in every few days.

The main thing is, I'm sweating. I'm improving my cardio and I am really toning up nicely. I am not losing any weight though, which is really frustrating, but I keep reminding myself that this is a long-term process and not a quick-fix like under-carbing. I feel pretty good about how I look, it's just that it's annoying that half of my clothes don't fit. When I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I'm like "Man, I'm looking good" but then I try on some of my clothes and they don't fit and I get upset. Such is life.

I am also doing taekwondo. It's on 3-4 times a week and the classes are really long at 2.5-3 hours. I'm going for my 7th kup grading next week so I'm trying to make the classes but on my annual leave I'm desperately trying to catch up with people and that gets in the way of evening training. There's also a Monday night social netball comp I'm now involved in. It's just held in my little town here, so I can even attempt to play when I'm on-call. Another girl in the team is from work so she's got it all down pat. It's good to have something to do in town.

So, I return back to week next week and I'm performing higher duties for the month, which means I wont be able to study as much, which means I'll have only 2 months of proper study before returning to med school. And...the anxiety flutters back through again.

My darling bf is currently doing assignments and studying for exams for his psych degree. He's so stressed and everything else in his life has been put on hold and he's procrastinating, and it's interesting to watch someone do that to themselves from an outside perspective. I really don't want to do that to myself when I go back to study. I did well at banning myself from stressing in the Chinese med course, but then again I was only doing 3 subjects (75% study load) and it was pretty easy compared to med school and it was only the first semester. But... saying to myself "I'm not allowed to stress" and "I'm prohibited from stressing" etc really worked well and I'll try to do this when back at med school.

Also, I've just completed the recruitment for St John Ambulance (volunteer first aid/med team service) so I will be volunteering with them as a paramedic and medical student in their medical team. They do events like the Iron Man and music festivals. I worked along them as a paramedic a few times (paid with my job) and saw other med students get some much practical experience and develop into really good emergency physicians that I want in on that action!

I've also got to tee up another observation placement at the GPs. I might ask him (the GP I shadow) if I can go in tomorrow seeing as some of my plans have opened up some space. He's only available for me to shadow Tue, Wed, and Thu. It's a really large multi-clinic so it's such a great experience for me there. I feel the volunteering stuff will give me more confidence that I can actual do this doctoring stuff. Being lost in textbooks isn't very encouraging right now.

Oh, I've also been listening to Jodie Whitely on YouTube who does hypnosis/guided meditation and I find listening to her at night sends me into a nice, deep sleep. I don't have that many sleeping problems, but with shift work and the chronic anxiety I had a while ago I found the hypnosis to be a really great tool. I can recommend it.

Tonight, I'm off to a Tibetan Buddhist centre to have a vegan meal and have a lesson on....can't remember. I think it's the Four Noble Truths or something like that. I listen to lessons occasionally on YouTube. I like the Dalai Lama, but the lessons can be long. I don't have much patience for long lectures which is why distance education works well for me.

That's my wrap up. I will try and post more again when I go back to med school. For now, it's all Kaplan and Dr Najeeb revision stuff.

"Oooh... two LADY paramedics...!"

"Oooh... two LADY paramedics...!"

I was going to put that in the "Overheard" category but I couldn't be bothered.

I hear this ALL the time when I work with another female paramedic, which is also quite regularly as there is currently 3 females and 1 male at my ambulance station. I feel like saying "Why, yes! I even have my manual driver's licence!" ffs

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Fruitarian life is going great. It is so easy when you get the ball rolling. I say again and again, it is the easiest "diet" I have ever been on. The hardest parts are:

• eating enough fruit calories
• having enough ripe fruit around the house

That's it!

My update (and a long story about manifesting visualisations)

So, where am I at?

I'm back doing 100% high-carb, raw vegan lifestyle and feeling so good for it. It's difficult for the first few days as there is a little detox and water/sodium rebalancing, but I'm on the easy side of it now and find it very easy. I have realised I need a lot more calories than I originally thought as the minimum 2000-2500cal is really just for maintenance, and not for healing and a shift-working medical student that wants to go running and travelling the world person.

Health is my number one priority right now which also, apart from all the fruit, includes getting enough water, sleep, fresh air and sunshine. This can therefore take up a fair few hours of the day. We have been quite busy at work and my personal life is quite full atm therefore my studies haven't been all that they could be this week.

21 Dec 2012 is coming! Have you began to look at what you want to take in to the New World? No, Earth isn't going to blow up! It just is a prediction that it is the end of the Information Age and the beginning of the Enlightenment/Wisdom/Knowledge Age. Now is a good time to start considering what your life would look like if it came from a place of love and harmony.

Vision booking! I have a vision board but I've started a vision book now. Very exciting. I'm super-excited because I know how much they work! I have recently had another manifestation occur....

The Story

In high school there was this girl, DH, who was bullied quite a lot. She came from an under-privileged background, had the thickest glasses, the worst skin and hair, and to top it all of she had this very unattractive voice and she didn't come across too bright. Poor dear. She was an easy target. Unfortunately, although I don't consider myself a bully at all, I got swept along with it at times.

I used to dwell on the people that gave me a hard time at high school. I spent my early twenties using it for motivation to become successful so I could somehow prove something to them or myself, not that I'd ever see most of them again. Although now with Facebook, it is a little motivating again! Mostly now, however, I do things for myself and on my own life's journey without worrying about other people and their opinions.

So, anyway, as I used to dwell on my own tormentors  I one day had an epiphany that I, too, may have been someone else's tormentor  Then I remembered DH. It kinda haunted me for awhile, this idea that I could have been to someone what those horrible girls were to me. Actually, it haunted me for about two years. And about a year-or-so ago I started imagining bumping into DH and having a good ol' chat and somehow me finding a way to apologise for the years of misery I had contributed to her high-school life. In fact, I think I was sort of obsessed with this idea.

Then, at TCM school at the start of the year, there was a girl that sat in the front row. She sounded just like DH! I thought ot myself: "Is that HER?" But she was too young and had a different name. Maybe she changed her name? Maybe it's a sister? I mildly befriended this girl. She was a bit of a mess - her life was all over the shot and she seemed to be stuck in a victim-mentality to the point where ti was extremely frustrating to talk to her. But I persisted and I thought it was some-how righting the wrongs of my past doings.

Then, you wouldn't believe it! Last week I saw DH! Really, I did. I was at the hospital for work. It's a regional hospital about 100+ kms from our old stomping grounds. I heard this woman speaking and then she registered her details at the front counter and gave her full name. "OMG! It's DH!" I exclaimed to my inner self. Holy mackerel! She looked exactly the same, just fatter!

Then the weirdest things happened. I made eye contact with her and I had this sudden, overall feeling of contentedness  like everything was all right  There was no need to talk to DH, no need to apologise for being a stupid teenager. She was fine and living her new life, as was I. That was surprising.

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Anyway, that is the story. So be careful what you manifest, what you spend energy and time concentrating on because it will come to you. Perhaps with some delay. I find about 12 months to be a normal delay for this sort of thing.

Tips: don't use negatives such as "I don't want x" because all the universe hears is "x". So, don't say "I don't want to get cancer" instead say "I want to be healthy" etc.

Another tip: be very specific. I always said I wanted to be rich and then one day I was doing an assignment that pointed out that if I lived in Australia I was the top 5% richest people in the world. While that was good perspective in a lot of ways, what I really wanted was enough money to have the lifestyle I wanted without have to work for a wage.

Make sure it is what you really want. Do you really want a man with green eyes, or a man that looks at you with great love....?

Now to visualise and manifest that med school will be easy and enjoyable and that I will learn everything I need to be a knowledgeable and excellent doctor......

(Nb: I tagged this post "spirituality"as I believe getting in touch with one's intuition to be quite spiritual, however there is a lot of science supporting the thought patterns to actualisation relationship... Believe it or not!)

Fruitarian

So, I've been fruitarian raw vegan for about 6 weeks or so mow. It's the best thing I've ever done. I feel amazing. I can feel my body healing and my health improving. My BMI is now 23. Whew.

Well, I really can't recommend it more.

Apart from that - well, I'm going through the motions with my Masters (x2) and my application for IUHS, I still have big dreams but really my number 1 priority in my life right now is my health. And I'm learning so much along the way.

Oh photos of the contianer house coming soon....

Road trip!

We just got back from a road trip to Mildura and Broken Hill for 5 days.

The BF asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said sunshine and fresh fruit. Mildura is the "fruit bowl" of Australia and has lovely sunny warm weather this time of the year, unlike my home town.

We were spontaneous with our decision to drive further north to the outback town of Broken Hill. We had a great time there - it was very different indeed.

On return we visited Penny Hills

And Mungo National Park

We managed to source lots of lovely fruit at the farmers market and local stores, although I nearly had a melt-down when I couldn't find any watermelon or green coconuts for a day.

We camped on the Darling Rive which was lovely and got some much-needed sunshine.

Being vegan is easy...

...but being raw is harder.

I find being raw vegan, especially on the 80/10/10 is quite easy. I barely get any cravings, but occasionaly I do crave cooked "comfort" food such as bread etc. I rarely crave animal products any more, and if I do, say cheese, I simply think of what it actually is (ie solidified animal secretions) and that turns me off straight away.

I have a day back at work to do and an assignment over due for International Health, so I guess I know what I'm doing today.

Card-carrying vegan

I've flicked the switch - I am now 100% vegan for life.

I knew there was something in vegan diets and something in raw diets that made sense. Why wouldn't one be healthier for eating only beautiful fresh fruit and veges?

I went back to raw vegan a few weeks ago now to regain my health (that I lost last year thanks to over-doing it, working shift-work and eating junk). I had tried it a few times this year but it was hard ot stick to.

Well, now I'm doing the 80/10/10rv diet and it's working a treat. No cravings, 2500+ calories a day, it's all good. I think I've been doing it for 3-5 weeks now, not sure.

I haven't had any detox symptoms either, which is weird. Maybe being on-and-off vegan/raw vegan for the past 6 months or so helped a lot. My skin cleared up almost instantly, which is almost annoying as I've spend so much time and effort and money since I was 15 to clear my skin. Geez. But I wont rant about that today. Mind you, each time I had a "slip-up" in the past few weeks my skin would break out and get itchy again, so 100% 80/10/10rv is necessary.

Anyway, as of this week I am 100% vegan, no doubts about it, for life. The health benefits got my onto vegan, but the ethical side of it is keeping me 100%.

I watched a movie called Earthlings. It's free and on YouTube. It's feature-length. Well , it's horrifying and it puts right in your face everything you try to not think about when you consume animal. Yuk. It really  upset me and I wont eat animal ever again. I didn't watch all of it as it goes onto animal as clothing and animal as entertainment (including testing products etc) but I'm already educating myself. I already stay away from leather and silk but now I think wool may have to go too.

I'm undecided about what to do with the leather/wool clothing that I already own.

PS The bi-carb/baking soda works well but you gotta do extra washes, ie if you normally shampoo once, then shampoo twice with bi-carb.

The turn around

Here's the run-down of what I did today:

• Sat at the work desk in a numb state for about 4 hours. Did about 3 pages of reading. Felt no challenge in it whatsoever.
• Got a phone call from my academic advisor and vented to her about my frustration with the proctor. She said she would try to help me but she must take grades off me for not attending the classes. Felt like I was on the verge of crying re both issues.
• Did a bit more study out of shear force - have no passion for it at all. Wonder to myself what on Earth am I doing wasting my time and money.
• Decided I desperately needed a creative outlet asap and couldn't wait until the end of term. Did some sewing at work and released the right hemisphere of my brain. This immediately inspired me.
• Got distracted looking at some weird hippie websites and found one about Automatic Writing. Had a go at it and think it went well thanks mainly to my experience in meditating. My answer to the question "Should I become a doctor?" and "Am I dong the right thing with my life?" was "If it is what you want to do". Hmmm... thought it wasn't supposed to be wishy-washy. Then I asked "What should I do with my life?" and the answer was "Be a good doctor and a good person". Interesting. Had a feeling then that I knew what I needed to do - be a good doctor and a good person. Also had a creepy feeling of presence in the empty work building. Thought I could see shadows and light bending, and the lights above me began flickering on and off. 
• Got freaked out and told my spiritual guides I wasn't ready to meet them yet. I'm scared the wrong people will come through due to me being a paramedic. I think I might need to find some assistance with this in the future.
• Decided I needed to tap into my spiritual side a bit more (but without communicating to "the other side") - found out about a movie called May I Be Frank. Also watched this YouTube clip about the same guy. Realised I am detoxing a lot of emotional baggage due to changing to a vegan diet. This explains a LOT.
• Feel rejuvenated. I know I am on the right path with veganism and the way in which I wish to live my life in the future.
• Told the BF what happened to me today and he joyfully reminded me that he did say over the weekend that I was feeling restless because I hadn't eaten meat. He felt satisfaction in being right. I felt satisfaction in him being able to gauge my feelings so accurately, even if he didn't really know what they were.
• There was also a part in the second video about Frank saying the hippies at the cafe really "saw" him (in the Avatar "I see you" sort of way). This reminded me about the feelings I had in Cambodia where helping people came so naturally and easily. I can't really explain how at this stage. Maybe because my life there was not so superficial. Or maybe because the Khmer people felt I saw them...?
• There was also a part about being human, ie not super-human, which reminded me my BF always says "You're not Vulcan". 

So what does this all mean? Well, for my personal life, it means I am on an extraordianry journey. In my professional and study life it means it is easier to do what I do when it comes from the right place. I feel less pressure on myself in med school because I am not doing it (entirely) for myself.

I'm not sure I can eloquently put into words the "shift" feeling I'm having right now, but I do intend to build upon it and keep going.

Over it.

Had a lovely morning being Valentine's Day - it is all about who you spend it with for sure. As the BF and I are saving to build our new house and want to do a bit of travel soon and we don't want reject materialism/consumerism, we tend to do "quality time" activities instead of buying gifts. This morning was breakfast in bed and a nice massage for me before work. Lovely.

We also did some cool stuff in the city as our sort-of V-day-weekend. We went to the National Gallery of Victoria (free!) and walked the city streets on the warm Summer's night to a short-film festival put on by the United National Association about sustainability and transitioning to a greener world. We then went down Chinatown and had an interesting(!) cheap meal there, which my positive spin was something like "Well this mutton stew will be good practice for us when we go to Mongolia!" lol

Ever since one of the BF's horses bit him really hard on the arm, I've been scared of them. I'm scared of his cows too. I can handle the Shetland pony mostly. When we walk around his property I just anxious if I realise I'm in the same paddock as them and if they start walking or running towards us I freak out. When I hear jobs on the work radio about people being injured and even killed by their livestock I shudder. I have no idea how I'm going to handle living on a farm.

Veganism - I have been caught a few times "forgetting" that I'm vegan. I even nearly ate meat on the weekend - the chicken sandwiches looked so tasty! I managed to get a vegetable sushi roll but as I got halfway through it I realised there was mayonnaise in it. Darn. I'm back at home now so it should be easier again.

And my study - well, my motivation and enthusiasm is at an all-time low. I have 3 weeks left and I really can't be bothered. I am at risk of failing if I don't get my act together. I'm just so annoyed all the time at the remote proctor not working and the issues I have with trying to communicate with the faculty staff. I'm annoyed at the lectures being compulsory and my internet being unreliable and stressing about losing grades. I'm annoyed that the lectures are mostly the students talking and the stress of being put on the spot to answer questions I may not have read about as yet. I'm really annoyed that the quiz questions are commonly poorly written and so dis-jointed and often don't reflect the learning objectives of the week making me suffer losing valuable marks. 

Yeh, I'm over it.

Vegan nutrition and a horrible day at the office

Well apart from a few accidental slip-ups including eating honey and stuff that contained whey, I think I've done pretty good for my first fortnight of veganism.  In fact - it's been really easy and really enjoyable. I feel really really good. It has helped me a lot to think about what I'm actually eating and to stop and make good nutritional, and where possible ethical, choices. I do wish I had more organic fruit and veges available to me, but I'll do my best for now.

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I had my most horrible day in ambulance yesterday ever. We were driving back to branch when a dog got run over in front of us. I don't know much about canine medicine but he seemed to be decerebrate with obvious head trauma, was not reacting to outside stimuli, and had no pupil or no corneal reflex in my physical examination. He was still breathing though, but it seemed to be a sort of reflex. His owners came out - a lovely elderly couple - and they were very upset indeed. There is no vet in town and the dog was very old. I gave the owners the option of me calling the local copper to put him down using a bullet to the head. They decided to take that option. I was so upset. Much more than by human death. I had a nightmare last night as well. I went home and hugged my dog so tightly and I also couldn't help thinking about that baby emu my BF and I found with a terrible open leg fracture and also that worst night of my life when I agreed to go shooting. I have realised how much I love animals and reinforces my decision to go vegan. My BF is a little confused by this turn-around as it wasn't that long ago we were talking about raising our own cattle for food. He is supportive and has accepted the compromise that he can still eat meat, although he has really enjoyed and even requested some of my vegan dishes.

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I was driving home from the hospital in the ambulance late last night thinking about being vegan and thought to myself "why on earth didn't I do this earlier?" I guess I thought it would be really hard or I had somehow been convinced that I needed to eat meat to be healthy, but really as far as I can tell it's only vitamin B12 that I need to take as a supplement (which I have an awesome liquid multi in my fridge which I have as my little treat in sparkling mineral water and the body can store quite a lot of B12 anyway).  Other potential dietary insufficiencies include:

• Omega-3 - luckily for me, I absolutely love olive oil and avocados and attribute them to curbing my fat cravings and improving my skin.
• Protein - we only need about 100g a day which can easily come from the amount of tofu I seem to be newly addicted to. Other sources include: legumes, nuts, seeds.
• Iron - non-haem iron seems to be ok, especially when combine with the absorption enhancer vitamin C. Sources are again legumes, nuts, and seeds. Also, thankfully as I love it, watermelon has both iron and vitamin C.
• Vitamin D - sunshine or supplements.
• Iodine - as much as any other person - try to get table salt with iodine in it.
• Calcium - again soy, nuts and seeds and figs! Also in some fortified wholemeal breads and cereals.

So it looks like I'll be consuming a lot of soy from now on! Luckily, like I said, I'm addicted to it!

The honey problem

Today I was going to be so happy to have made it to two weeks as a vegan... until I remembered that I had been eating honey! D'oh! I didn't even think about until it at the time. I am a fan of maple syrup but I ran out and there was honey at work so..... Dang.

Other things that have tricked me - whey is a milk by-product - of course! Doh again. Gelatin has snuck into my lollies - geez. And apparently wool is a no-no too, which, I guess makes sense. Luckily I love cotton.
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Last night we did get called out so I only got to bathe and vacuum - no workout, study or quiz attempting. I couldn't get out of bed early enough to attempt it this morning during the end of my on-call period. Tonight is the night.

FML

Well I did end up doing a workout last night as well. I also watched tv (Fashion Police) and didn't do any study at all.  I tried to do my quiz this morning but my internet wouldn't work. I still have it hooked up to the LAN (that works) and I haven't figured out the wireless router as yet as it works on my phone and iPad. I run a diagnostic and it asks for a PPoP address or something like that - I have no idea what it is asking for. Ugh...

I had my mentor meeting and I felt slightly more prepared than last time but still feel like I don't know anything at all and like the biggest dumbass medical student she has ever come across. My motivation in waning and I'm day-dreaming of the end of this term.

I also had my first time of going out for food as a vegan. I had called ahead, but it turns out the gnocchi has egg in it, so I had to have a change of plans. The beef salad without the beef or dressing sounded so incredibly boring after I had planned for the extra calories for the week. I ended up going with a vege coconut curry and rice which was delicious. I used my new My Diet Coach app and nearly fell off my chair when I calculated the calories. Holey-moley. That, with a glass of Coke, means I am over my daily calorie budget. Great. I can workout for an hour and not eat for the rest of the day and get back to 0 balance.

Kitty managed to get her arm (yes, I do refer to the front legs of quadrupeds as "arms") stuck through her collar which terrified me into thinking she might do this and get stuck somewhere never to be seen from again. I will try making another smaller hole to tighten the collar a bit more. Poor Kitty.

Well, that is all. I guess I better stop complaining and get back into trying to study. FML.

iPad and no service

I've been trying to blog this weekend but my iPad Blogger app wont work and I'm not get enough signal strength on my mobile anyway.

So, my boss quit and now he's been packing up everything this weekend. It's so sad. He has been going though his stuff and found a lot of old paperwork he doesn't know why he ever kept in the first place. It has made me think I really need to go through my draws in my study at home and the top shelf of my locker at work. I generally take pride in having a clear in-try and in-box.

Being a vegan is going really good for me! My diet and workouts have been going really well too. I just had to motivate myself a LOT and during the day if I think of inspirational things I write them in a memo to myself in my phone.

Study - I have done a bit this weekend but not as much as I should have done to catch up (for various reasons - work, personal life commitments). It's ok. I'm not panicking just yet.

Skinny Bitch

So somehow I got reading another fitness blog yesterday and she recommended the book Skinny Bitch. Well, it was $7 on Amazon as an eBook so I thought - what the hell. I don't think I've ever read a book in only a few hours but I got through this one yesterday arvo.

I was tricked (and it worked).

This book pushes the political agenda of veganism. There's a whole chapter on slaughter houses and the cruel things people have said, and have been quoted, to do to animals. My minds eye has been scarred. I cuddled my dog all last night because I was so sad about what people do to animals.

I'm already a "friend" of The Institute for In Vitro Sciences and The John Hopkins centre for Alternative to Animal Testing but I might look a bit more back into this now.

I know slaughter houses aren't pretty places, but geez, it's much harder to not think about it now, especially after my terrible recent experience going roo shooting.

I think I have become an instant vegan.

So my background is I was vegetarian that ate little diary for a while. And I have been, what I call, a "part-time" vegetarian for years. That is, I am quite selective about what meat I eat and I probably only eat meat once a day on average (which is not much when you compare that to three times a day for most people). I make the best choices that I can, and I don't buy leather (my work boots are leather but they are standard issue and I don't get the one pair I'm entitled to a year), and I always get free-range eggs. I also like tofu and soy milk and rice milk.....

So now I'm a paramedic, a med student, a Masters student, trying to get fit and healthy, trying to live sustainably, trying to live simply, AND and friggin vegan. Ugh.

My main concern is when I travel - I might not be able to be so selective. But thinking about it, in Samoa it should be really easy as they have no dairy industry (they have coconut milk), no cattle industry (almost everything is imported frozen), and I think I can avoid the seafood too.

I plan to chronicle my vegan adventures here on this blog now too.

Wish me luck.