And another job offer (psych)

Predictably, now I have General Registration coming to me (probably this week), all the doors have flung open for me including a phone call and job offer in psychiatry.

It's a tough decision for me because I really love psych, but it would not be a guarantee on the training program, even though I've been assured by the powers that I would be in a great position to secure a training position mid-year, as the primary income-earner for the family and my dependants with lofty and expensive goals, I think I need to stick with my sure-bet of GP Land at The Good practice. My game-plan would still to apply mid-year for psych training and see what happens. I'll likely still stay in GP Land and have a special interest in mental health (which, by the way, is the top reason for GP visits in Australia).

I've also enrolled into the Master of Psychiatry program so I'm very excited to be doing that alongside my GP training with the view to go on to further research and PhD in Psychiatry/Mental Health particularly how it relates to the GP/community/primary health care setting. 

So that is what I'm up to.

In other areas of life, I am still absolutely loving where I live. The kids are going great. Hubby is doing great in this new part-time gig as a Counsellor and other part-time gig as a law student. 

________

I'm not sure how long it's been since I've talked about money on here. It was intrinsic to being about to complete my media l degree that I got "good" at money. It was always something that historically I "wasn't good at." Flash-back to 2014 when I decided that if I was able to learn medicine then surely I could learn about money and I got myself a public library membership and read almost the whole section on money ("Economics"). I skipped the books that were overly technical but I read everything else and that included these books that I recommend:

Money: Master the Game by Tony Robbins

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsay

The Barefoot Investor by Scott Pape

The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J Stanley

I also recommend World Poverty for Dummies (I already owned this from a humanitarian point of interest but I found it helped me get a grip on how wealthy I already was).

I guess I just mention this in case if you, like I was, are limited by your financial resources and need to maximise things to achieve your goals then this is what I recommend you do (read htose books, or listen to them on audiobook). 

Attached with purely financial books, I do also attribute the Marie Kondo method and minimalism as well to being an important step in how I "mastered the game."

Elective 1 done

Finished off Elective 1 a week ago. Phew!

I haven't recieved my supervisors report back as yet, but I've completed my log book.

I had been hoping to do another placement this "block" (my work roster is organised  but lack of in 4-week bloacks and that's how my mental calendar thinks) but I've been so mentally exhausted from my last placement, plus juggling work and mummy-duties, has made me just put that on the back-burner for now.

I paid another $2000 in tuition therefore leaving me only $1000 to go! Woohoo!

Med School notes page plus clinical placements

I've added another page to this blog (see tabs at top) called "Med School notes". These are jpegs of my revision notes I'm doing for my clerkship and final clinical exam.

My revision is consisting of med school lectures and now mainly MedBullets.com which I thoroughly recommend.

My four weeks IM placement is finished. It went really well. I managed to juggle my ambulance shifts and placement. One bad thing, which became a good thing, is Bubs got bronchiolitis and was too sick for childcare so my partner had to take time off work to care for her. During that time we both decided it would be best if he took the rest of the year off work to care for Bubs and support me so I can continue juggling work and med school. So far, it has been working out really well for all three of us. I also just happened that I got a substantial pay rise at work so we don't really need both of us to be working at this point in time and are able to have one of us at home looking after the home front. Bubby does like childcare but not full-time, so perhaps she can still go casually or join a playgroup instead. Not sure yet. We're just playing it by ear at the moment. My partner is enjoying have time off work too.

Exciting: I got an email from a hospital saying they can take me for 16 weeks! Wows! It's a regional hospital about a 2.5-hour drive from home, which is completely fine because that's driveable and I can commute of my days off. I was worried I'd have to move away from home for months, so this is a good outcome. This is exciting and excellent news. It means I only have, really, four weeks of surgery to find and then that's it for clinical placements! Wow!

So my mentor said she might be able to help with the surgery, otherwise, there are five potential hospitals that I can chase up, and in fact that is my job to do today.

Things are going really well for me right now. The only thing that is bothering me is that OUM is only holding the OSCE and final clinical exam twice a year. This is very frustrating. It means that if I finish my placements a month after the OSCE, I have to wait another five months before I can sit the next one and graduate. This is what is looking like to be my situation with the OSCE in Dec and my projected completion time of January. How annoying. I have asked to do it early, but they are pretty strict with students needing to have completed all their placements first. So stay tuned for more on this one.

Finance secured

Woohoo.

I've just received a phone call from the bank notifying me that I have been approved the money I need to pay for the remaining fees for the course!

Yay!

The financial stress of medical school has, overall, been more intense than the study load, job uncertainty, and placement-finding combined.

This is great news.

The repayments are completely affordable (spread over five years but I hope to have it all paid off within two years) and is a major milestone for me.

Australians are not entitled to any sort of student loans for overseas courses. Australian-based courses, such as medical degrees, are supported with either Commonwealth Supported Places, FEE-HELP loans, or a number of other government-supported schemes.

Studying medicine at OUM, for Australian students, is a huge financial commitment. Students cannot continue with their study unless they are up-to-date with their dues, paid module-by-module. I'm not sure how much I have paid in total (the fees changed - decreased, in fact - half-way through), but I think I have just bought myself a $136,000 degree over the past six years. Very competitive in the realm of medical degrees, but scary when I think of what else I might've done with that sort of cold hard cash.

I am very proud of myself for earning, and borrowing, that money over the past six years. Who knew I had that sort of economic potential.

Anyway, I have said before and still firmly believe that education is the best form of investment one can make. It's an even better investment if the odds are that that education can increase your earning potential enough to recoup the financial investment and even have greater returns.

So, I'm going to divulge some slightly personal information to you to show you how I did in the hope of assisting others:

• Completed the first two years of tuition over 4 years. Paid a monthly payment plan of about $1800 for 4 years (about $86,000)
• Refinanced my house for the first half of the clinical placements (about $25,000)
• Loan for final clinical fees ($25,000)

So, you need to bear in mind that I have continued to work full-time for the majority of my degree. The first four years we tough but I managed. I was also paying a brand-new mortgage off at the same time. Also about $1800 per month. I earn about $4000 per month, so simple maths shows I was pretty short on cash. I worked overtime whenever I could and got pretty burnt-out in the process. I also travelled and managed to make a bit of extra cash here and there to maintain a lifestyle I liked. 

I actually took a personal loan out at one point to help as I got behind. I paid that off about two years ago. When I took maternity leave, that is when things got really financially tough. I was able to refinance my home which increased my mortgage repayments which I am still, literally, paying for now. The best thing about this FINAL loan is that this is it. No more tuition fees coming next year to compound on the top of the financial pressure. I can take the full five years to repay it if I want. 

Ok, I hope me telling you all my personal financial business helps someone. I remember when I started I thought to myself that I had NO IDEA how I would afford everything but I just took a leap of faith, and worked really hard, got a little creative, begged, borrowed, and...refinanced. Somehow, it happened.

(I never did win the lottery, though...)  

Life lessons

A couple of interesting things happened to me this week. One is that I bought my first Louis Vuitton handbag and first pair of LouBoutin shoes. If you are like my boyfriend and have no idea what this means, well it means that these are luxury items. Think of Mercedes in the car market and transpose that into handbags and shoes.

Here's the thing: the bag is good, but not THAT good. I like it. I bought it preloved and I'm so glad I did because there is no way it is worth the original $1800 price tag. Also, I am so bloody self-conscious carrying it. I don't like leaving it lying around just in case someone thinks its worth more than it is. Then there's the worry that people will think I bought it new and was so wasteful with my money.

The shoes: they're not that good either. I prefer the ones I got from the opshop. I don't know what brand those ones are but I like them. I'm reselling the shoes as they don't fit properly anyway. I am also glad I bought them pre-loved and not the original $1500 price.

So far my experience of these items is not what I thought it would be.

Then, today, I saw a post on Facebook that asked you to "choose" any one of a number of special gifts. By far the most popular was the ability to know the number of every scratch card (to get rich), and the second-best popular was to have the worlds highest IQ. Now, being in Mensa (and potentially Triple Nine Society) and knowing some super-dooper intelligent people with genius IQs, I know that having the world's highest IQ is not the "magic bullet" that people think it may be. People think they would be able to learn everything, to know everything, and to therefore make really good decisions and figure everything else out to get what they want. Not so. People are more than just rational thinking machines. And having the world's highest IQ doesn't necessarily make learning things about life simple.

That got me thinking about whether being rich isn't actually as good as some people think it might be.

So I Googled it. Turns out that being rich isn't the "magic bullet" some people think it may be.

Once I heard a saying that went something like: Money isn't important unless you don't have any.

I have being participating in a manifestation course (like the principles of The Secret). I am an avid vision-board maker. I bought a Law of Attraction Planner (I think it helped me secure my latest clinical placements).  I know people think it is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, but what it does do is make you really focus on what you want. What you ACTUALLY want. These exercises made me think about whether I wanted to manifest that mansion on the hill nearby. The truth is: no, no I wouldn't want to live in that mansion. It's too big, too much maintenance, and draws too much attention. I already feel the house I live in is more than big enough for the three of us. Any bigger and I'd need staff. I don't want "staff" in my personal home. AS it turns out, I LOVE my house that I currently am in. I want to do more to the garden and buy new curtains, but overall I love it.

After I manifested my Louis Vuitton bag and LouBoutin shoes, I have realised I need to be careful what I wish for. I am grateful for them as they have made me realise the joy I thought they would bring me didn't happen. It makes me able to imagine if I did have that expensive luxury car: would I be constantly worried where I parked it? I heard a surgeon's Audi got keyed at the hospitals. It drew too much attention.

So, where to from here?

I truly believe that sometimes you have to go off course to know when you're on the right one. I think that's how heat-seeking missiles and sniffer dogs work.

I was manifesting 2016 as the year of luxury and celebration. I may need to rethink what this means to me.

Anyway, no big conclusion or pearls of wisdom; just some rambling.

Money, med school, and mouth pain

I'm over two weeks with Invisalign and I've gotten used to them. They don't hurt any more and I'm actually beginning to prefer to have them in. With them in, my front tooth gap is closed and my teeth look shiny and glossy from the plastic veneer, and the scratchy button are protected. I put in my new tray next week so it will be interesting to see if they hurt again from another adjustment.

This is my last week of acting up in high duties and on the weekend I do my taekwon-do competition. After that, I'll be just going back to regular tkd training for my next belt grading, hopefully netball will begin again, and I can begin preparing to return to study.

I contacted OUM a few months ago about what to do with me, seeing my situation, and it was as if it was a bit too hard to think about that far ahead. So, next month, I will contact them again. When I know what I am doing (I return half way through a term and need to do remedial for neuro) then I can ask my previous mentor if she is willing to continue mentoring me. If she says no, I hope to get clinical rotations at her hospital so I can prove my worth once again and not completely lose the excellent contact I have for my possible future career. I hope to NOT do my first rotation there so I get some sort of experience in-hospital and not look completely clueless.

Samoa has finally opened their new training hospital and I can't wait to check it out.

I went through a period of about a week where I was meditating every morning and I had a lot of mental clarity and came up with some solutions to the clinical placements vs money problems. I am hoping to get in a least a few clinical rotations while still working full-time as an ambo. A year would be ideal. After that I will be refinancing for my last clinical rotations. I am therefore planning to either do overseas rotations/electives (4 weeks each) during my annual leave form work while still being full-time employed and/or after finishing up full-time and using some of the money for tuition fees to support myself OS. IF I left my trickiest placements (to obtain) and Samoa to the very end, I could rent out my house (ie move my stuff out and get the renter to cover my mortgage) and simply stay there seeing as Internship is guaranteed for graduates. I'd then stay on and work as a low-paid doctor over there - just enough to live reasonably comfortably in Samoa. The last piece of the puzzle is my pets. My bf can easily follow me (he's looking forward to living overseas for a year or so). I'll have to meditate more to come up with that solution for the pets. Possibly my parents would take my dog, ad the bf's parents take his dog back for a year, but I'd have to build and pay for a fence at my parents and more my dog interstate AND my folks don't really want pets due to wildlife and lifestyle but they might suck it up for a year to help me sooooooo I'm hoping the untapped powers of my subconscious can come up with something better.

If I had unlimited money then I'd have a lot more options. I could continue to have my boarder who'd look after my dog, but she alone doesn't cover the mortagage. I could possibly get a second boarder in, but then that's a bit of a long-shot finding someone appropriate but then again it is a possibility.

Every body visualise me coming into great amounts of wealth.

One good thing, apart from my epiphany, is that I will soon have enough money from my lovely tax return to cover my owed tuition fees at OUM! Hoorah. So back to the 12-month payment plan I go (hopefully).

Productive day(s)

Well, I just want to tell the whole world how my Chinese Medicine Foundations exam got graded incorrectly and I found myself and extra 20 points on my exam, just by taking the time to go and review it!

It's a pain in the bum at some unis, and some don't allow you to at all which was a major gripe of mine with OUM changing their exams, to review your exam. Well, excuse me for wanting to know what questions I got wrong just in case I ever have a patient with the same complaints but here I am not knowing what I know and what I don't know.

My CM school is quite small, so this week they allow students to drop into the office and have a look at their exams. This is great because you can take notes of where you need to revise so for the rest of the course and career you know what you're doing.

Anyway, I've felt like the biggest dumbass for the past 3 weeks, thinking I only got 51% on my exam! Turns out, I got 71%.Geez. So my final grade for the subject jumped from 64 to 77 or something like that. That's a Credit to a Distinction. I ended up with D's across the board, thank you very much.

Today - just now - I finally submitted my assignment for Herbal Medicine. I quite enjoy this subject on Skin and right now I want to be a dermatologist (if anyone's been following this blog for the past 2  years I've gone from emergency physician, to general practitioner, to paediatrician, to emergency paediatrician, to integrative medicine, and now to dermatology.)

I also saw an advertised job for an alternative health dermatology specialist with a salary range of $80-100k. This is where I'm aiming to hit with a cruisey 9-5 M-F job, not an insane any time of the day or night all weekends and public holidays in any weather job. Of course, if and when I ever become a registered doc I should clear that no worries, but it's good to know my other options in the world of alternative health.  I feel like I need about that much to comfortably pay off my mortgage, to maybe get an investment property (for my retirement), and to take one overseas trip a year (not an expensive one though), and to do be cringing at the thought of bills being higher than expected or stressing because the price of petrol rose 10c. Yes, I am still striving towards a self-sufficient and sustainable life-style.

In 1.5 hours I return back to work. Well, actually I'll probably go in half an hour earlier to get myself organised. I start on-call tonight. Eek. It's difficult coming back. I have to admit, I'm starting to get over the adrenalin rush of paramedics and look forward to the day I am chillin in my clinic. But, I need to go back to work to study - sounds funny. Since having my stressful episode at the beginning of the year, I have been conscientiously practicing only studying at work, and never after work at home and rarely on my days off. This is much healthier and I do a lot of study at work as I know that is my only time to do it. So, I need to go back and get back into it and I'm really looking forward to that aspect of returning to work actually.

Well that's all as I have to go get ready. 

Tight-ass home-maker tips

I just managed to score some curtains, railing, and rod from the local op-shop.  I'm so impressed.

The "good" op-shop (the big one with furniture) is only open 11am-1pm Fridays and Saturdays. If I'm passing by I often stop in to have a scout around.  I'm convinced that if you have a small wish-list in the back of your mind it's easier to wait for what is suitable/affordable than trying to find it straight away.  It's easier if you can accept that you can live without curtain netting until you find the right stuff.

All my windows came with blinds but I put up curtains in the bedrooms to block light creeping in through the cracks on the sides.  They were very cheap, light-weight ones from the cheapie shop ("The Warehouse"), in just simple charcol and gold.  In Cambodia, I picked up two matching massive king-size bed sized silk fabrics which I converted into curtains and look great. 

I've had my eye out for some netting for months. There are three windows in my house that could use netting for privacy but it seemed so expensive from the shops.  I found some that were acceptable in design/colour (not too old granny), were in good condition, and the right width and length.  Excellent.  There was also a good rail I got for $2, and I asked and they managed to find my a curtain rod tucked away in the back. Excellent.  Everything cost me a "donation" as they are moving locations - so I just gave them $8.

I'm currently washing the curtains and I look forward to putting them up when I have some time. I'll put up some photos when they're done.

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Edit: If you have trouble deciding what looks crappy old op-shop and what looks ok vintage, try looking at modern versions and think about what you like about them.  For example, my dear friend has top-of-the-range netting curtains at her house. I was checking what made them look modern and expensive, compared with the granny-flat ones I see at my patients houses. Some things to consider are:

• Colour - some colours look more tired than others, for example some cream colours can look like white that has yellowed with age, but some whites can look cheap too. Complimenting the rest of the room is a good way to have things fit well into a room.
• Texture - I'm really into the tweed-like textures atm. Consider whether a finer or coarser texture would look best to you in the different situations.
• Natural or synthetic - one of the best things I like about the bigger netting I just bought is it appears to be made from natural fibres, ie a wool/cotton blend.  This gives a sense of luxury and can be a real find in op-shops as it was the preferred material a few decades ago. Now it's all cheap nylon and synthetics.
• Pattern - a modern or classic pattern can be a world of difference from a daggy 1980's/90's one. I'm really into the deco era and shudder at the sight of anything I had in my house when I was growing up.
• Less is more - A few op-shop pieces, even curtains of furniture can looks good if they are maintained in a good condition. Having your whole place decked-out like students accommodation where you display everything you have every owned gives a slightly different feel. 
• Condition - as above, a well-maintained item is essential.
• Be brave - so what if your $4 curtain doesn't look so good when it's up? You only lost $4, not $240. Unless you're expecting a visit from Home Beautiful magazine this week, try again, get creative, express your artistic side, and try again.

Good luck.

Free Google books medical textbook list

If you haven't heard of Google books yet, it can be a little gem.  Not all books are available on there, and the ones that are are usually missing pages due to copyright restrictions and you usually can't print the pages, therefore you might have to supplement with borrowing from the library and/or photocopying the pages you need, before upgrading to a $1 secondhand >10 years old version, and then finally being able to afford the lastest edition (or at least one less than 5-10 years old).  It can be a real pain if your med school references specific pages in specific editions which is what my med school does, but you can still work around it if you're really tight on cash.

Here are a few links to books that are on my core textbooks list at my med school.

Lippincott's Biochemistry
Davidson's Principles and Practice of Medicine
Robbins Pathologic Basis of Disease
First Aid for the USMLE Step 1
Guyton and Hall Medical Physiology
Martin Neuroanatomy

There's quite a few more textbooks in my well-established library now, but that's just some examples of the ones I have in hard copy which are available in part online for free.

If I was Google books and book publishers I would make everything available and just charge per page or per view in a sort of iTunes format. They'd make money for sure!

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Study is going well but I'm sort of getting bored of it. Can't wait til it's over and I can start a new topic.

In your end-o

Today we did the first half of the student presentations.... and I'm going next week!  I've finished my presentation this morning in case I was first up and to get it out of the way before revision week next week.

It's nearly the end-o of the endo-crine module and I really like endocrinology.  I also really liked biochem, cardiac and respiratory so far (not so much musculoskeletal).

My lecturer said she's doing neuro next term, so I guess neuro is on the list of possibilities for me.  In fact I think she said she was going to request that I be in her class because she is also my academic advisor right now (I'm supposed to have one in Australia but there is none currently in that position) and she wants to tutor me in molecular biology and other basic sciences to help me for the USMLE.  It is such an amazingly generous offer, but half of me is thinking "oh no, not MORE study!  i have bought the textbook to do the MITOpenCourseWare free online course in mol bio, so I hope to do that over my 4 week break.

I have been concerned about my finances for enrolling into next term, but I've decided I will find that $3000 somewhere, even if it means borrowing it, which I really don't want to because of the high interest of repayments and my budget is already stretched - so repayments with interest is not exactly ideal.  Plus, I have those clinical modules coming up for which I need to SAVE money, not borrow it.  That is why I was hesitant to borrow, but I've decided to do so anyway (if I need to - I have a few pay cheques coming up before then) to get these preclinical modes out of the way.

I just got sent a Google-alert for the following article which is talking about the numbers of females in medical schools has now passed the number of males and they are predicting soon there will more female doctors than male doctors in Australia, especially in certain specialties - no points for guessing that those specialities are the "family-friendly" ones some of the female medicine specialties.

Rise of women doctor numbers in Australia

(PS the title of this post is a quote from Scrubs)

Down-shifting

I've just started reading a new blog - Notes from the Frugal Trenches, amoungst others from Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op blog.  I was reading about "downshifting", as the thought of it pretty much dominates my mind atm.  I thought I'd just reflect on my own downshifting journey over the past few years.

(YA = years ago, MA = months ago, ie in the past from where I am now).  I've tried for chronological order;

10YA - Lived on a 33ft yacht for about a year.  Realised how many more stars there are in the night sky away from cities, pollution, lights etc.  Got nostalgic for the days when I used to be able to see the Milky Way from my suburban home as a child.  Realised I hadn't seen many stars at all in the city for years.  Quite a shock.

9YA - Did my Army preventive medicine (environmental health) training living on-base for a few months out in the sticks.  Really enjoyed my lifestyle there and how good I felt, particularly my afternoon 5km run around the base through the trees on a dirt track and some grass, the fresh air, and the lack of traffic.  Decided at this time I wanted to move out of the city but would still want a good career, which I didn't have on the yacht.  Looked at the Army full-time, decided on becoming a paramedic.

7YA - Began becoming a paramedic.  This included some clinical placements in rural locations which I really enjoyed.  Started narrowing down where I would want to move to. 

4YA - Got my first full-time ALS paramedic job in a rural city.  Had quite a culture shock as my normal forms of entertainment were either not available at all, not readily available, or not of the same standard.  At that time these were fancy dinners at restaurants, cocktail bars, Gold Class cinemas, and live shows/gigs, as well as a membership at a nice fancy gym with a eucalyptus steam room and aromatherapy room to name just a few.

3YA - Transferred my job and my life to a small rural town.  Another culture shock again. No shops except the op-shop and a small supermarket which didn't contain any fancy products. Searched the supermarket shelves and couldn't find rice milk or tofu (they are now available). No free-range chicken, no fresh organic food.  No takeaway food and the one and only restaurant at the pub was terrible.  No gym at all.  And my roster involved being on-call a lot.  Had to begin shopping on-line which helped me decide what I really wanted and less impulse (still some impulse buying).  Had to learn how to cook and how to use more staple ingredients. Bought a Nintendo Wii and set-up home gym and bought Tracy Anderson workout DVDs.  Go for an occasional run in the fresh air around the paddocks - reminds me of the good ol' times on the Army base.

1.5YA - Bought my house so I could finally do things like install solar panels, put in a vege patch, plant some fruit trees, and get my non-existent gardens in existence.  Already had some nifty devices like those standby power switches.  Water tank already insitu.  Grey-water hose from washing machine to vege patch in place since renting as we were ina serious drought then.

8MA - Decided I was going to go frugal. Rearranged my budget as much as possible (with more help from My Budget with who I have been with for a few years now). Reduced as much as possible.  Shopped around for cheapest insurance, internet, phone etc.  Simplified.  Convinced myself to only travel overseas once per year instead of up to 4 times at one stage!

6MA - Found myself the perfect house-mate to take up some of the ridiculously large amount of space I have in my house and to contribute rent.

4MA - Started reducing the amount of overtime I work.  Enjoy my days off.

2MA - Finally getting my feed-in sorted for my solar (so the electricity company buys-back any excess I generate thoughout the day).

1MA - Started seriously looking at rural acreage for my (hopefully) final transition to as rural as I want to go.  Planning to rent my rural township house out (I wont sell it as I need a city or town house as an asset as my acreage house will firstly be my forever-home so I can freely design and do with it what I wish without worrying about resale, and secondly it will not increase in capital as dramatically as my township house, and thirdly my plan is to have a number of small-mortgage houses with people renting them off me and to never have a large mortgage to which I am chained to as per the advice from a few of the older people I'm friends with).  Am still currently in the planning phase or the acreage house.  Projected period of planning is 12 months, projected period of construction/moving is another 12-24 months after that. V. excited.

Recently - Bought my first few shares! They were in a co-operative wind farm!  V. cool.  Hoping to receive my first few small dividends in the next year.  Joining some local sustainability groups.

So now I've started a new post category - the "simple life" which I hope share the more time I intend to spend on my down-shifted, frugal, green, simple life. 

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I'm hoping to still keep up with modernity, though.  I love technology and I have no intention on rejecting modern life and living like the colonials.  I'm just trying to cultivate that part in my bio that says "find the time to stop and smell the roses....."

Status quo and spark of motivation

Yes, same ol', same ol' here.  Just working, enjoying freedom from med school, looking forward to holidays, got lots of social plans on my days off etc.

I think my brain is already on holiday.  I don't want to do overtime, I'm finding every excuse to not do my Masters readings, and what PT course?  My house is looking tidy though and I've been flicking throough House and Garden magazine, and I have heaps more energy at work.  I feel sorry for my work colleagues as I've been operating in a constant state of  half-dead, but I didn't really notice that until now.  It's funny how you accept that because you're a med student you just automatically have no other quality of life.

I've been reading the Mothers In Medicine blog a bit lately.  Not because I'm a mother (unless you count my dog and cat), but because other blogs link back to interesting articles about juggling home life and work, choosing the right partner, and some other interesting aspects of being a female that is successful in the workforce.  Anyway, it's given me a bit of much-needed inspiration.

Just had a really sick acute pulmonary oedema patient.  I haven't had a full-field APO for ages.  It was good to do someone that was actually so acutely and time-critically sick.  I was sure he was about to arrest.  Thankfully he didn't and our treatment brought him back in the right direction.  We picked him up from the bush nursing hospital where they rarely do sickies and the staff need a lot of paramedical direction.  I was the treating officer and it kind of felt good asking the other paramedic to do this, the Div 1 nurse to do that, the nursing student to grab me this, and the doctor (GP) on scene if it was ok for her to give a drug that we dont' carry but he needed.  It went smoothly, efficiently, and I caught myself mid-IV cannulation drawing parallels between that situation and what it would be like to be an ED doc running an arrest or similar.  I really think emergency medicine is for me.

And it was just what I needed.  More motivation to continue studying this long, long (and expensive) journey through med school.

School fee blues

My massive med school tuition fees are starting to get me down.  I know I'm really lucky to be able to travel and afford things like a new fence when I need them, but it's frustrating to work my ass off and not get ahead at all.  I really noticed it when I just took two weeks off work sick and only got paid my base wage (no overtime or call-out allowances).  Another 4 years of this it going to hurt.  I'm going through a phase of doubt while sitting here going through my miniature bank accounts. 

Ugh.

Well only 4 1/2 weeks until I go away. Geebus!!!  That is totally scary.

Well I haven't done my workout today yet, despite sitting here in my trackies.  I think I'll go do that now to try and lift my mood.  Maybe I'll have an epiphany or at least more optimism in regards to the financial situation.

Nice day

**Spoiler Alert*** (Project Runway Season 8)

It's so nice to wake up fairly naturally (my dog sort of woke me up, but I wasn't in a deep sleep).   My usual routine is to let him out and open the blinds on the east side of the house and let the morning sunshine in.  This morning I looked out and I could see all these silver-beaded threads on all my plants.  I only have two potted bamboo and four planted fruit trees in the backyard so far (I concentrated all of my time last spring in the front).  And the sun was being reflected in full-force off two of my 8 pavers (for the patio extension in progress) straight into my eyes.  It was amazing.

Above is a photo of one of the bamboo trees and the spiders webs that caught my eye.  All of my (six) trees had been covered in spiders webs over-night then the morning dew glistening was quite a surprise.

The above photo is one of my plum trees, looking all sad for the Winter.  Hope to get some fruit this year (just planted them last Winter).  I have been living in this house for three years but I only just bought it a year ago, so I've just started investing in the gardens, although it also coincided with me paying medical school tuition fees and mortgage, so there's not that much investing into the garden going on - just slow and steady.  And slow.

Spoiler alert - Project Runway was, to my nice surprise, on last night  Yay!  I recorded the Amazing Race and watched PR.  And... I'm so glad Gretchen Jones won.  I loved the three finalists, but I think the best designer won.  I also think she was so unfairly targeted and bullied in that show for being nothing more than a tall poppy with an opinion.  Yeh, I so got sucked into that show.  But I had a nice night last night relaxing a bit.

Today, I have a lecture at 1pm, so I'll study from now until then.  I go back on-call tonight, so I'll try and get a bit organised after the lecture as my wardrobe has imploded.  I'm pretty happy at the rest of the house maintainence and feel pretty organised and stress-free.  I'm proud of myself for my financial budgeting skills this fortnight, I think doing well on the mini-exam yesterday was a huge relief.  And getting my readings done last week, I can focus on a fresh case study guilt-free.  I'm also proud of myself for sitting down and drawing out the brachial plexus this morning so I think I almost have it down pat.  There isn't a whole lot of time for rote learning in my schedule, but there are a few things that just take pure memory, in the way that I used to love playing that card game "Memory" when I was a kid.

Anyway.

Loving life.

PT couse and internal chatter

Well I finally submitted section 1 of the first assignment for my personal trainer course.  I'm not sure how long it took - probably longer than it feels - but I'm happy that the ball is rolling along in the right direction albeit slowly.  Not bad me thinks for the hours I'm working and, oh yeh, that medical degree I'm doing too.

So in my med degree the modules are fairly independent from one-another, that is, there is no sort of pre-requisite in the pre-clinical module from one module to another (except the first one in biochemistry) and the learning is sort of more horizontal than vertical.  This is all fine, except I'm in my second year and I feel as clueless as I did last year.  I'm just starting to realise it's because I'm not necessarily building on past terms, one on top of the other, it's more of a building side-by-side, and accumulation of breadth at constant incredibly scary depth. I've been doing practice USMLE World question and I'm, like, "I don't know anything!"  but it's really I don't know anything about the musculoskeletal system (yet).

Well with section one of the PT course submitted at least I can relax and I wont feel bad if I completely leave the next section until this med term is over - in 4 weeks!  Eek!

Don't tell anyone, but we didn't do a single job today at work (I was on over-time, "the perfect crime" as my work colleague put it)!  Not one!  And after a great amount of sleep-bank deposits yesterday I studied from 7am to 6.30pm tonight!  I'm so proud of myself.  Then I just did about 30 mins on that PT assignment to get it submitted.  Feeling like I accomplished something today.

Well, only two months until I go on my trip now.  I changed shifts today with someone who went to Nepal two years ago so I got chatting to him and a good lead on a good tour guide in Kathmandu (for the first week where I still have nothing planned and plan to keep it unplanned until I get there as the rest of my itinerary is already mapped out).  Then I got on eBay and had an interesting discussion with myself on whether North Face clothing was worth the money and whether I would be a victim of marketing/consumerism/capitalism if I bought a North Face down jacket.   The internal jury is still out on that one.  Standby....

Practicing Buddhism seems to have increased how much I notice my internal chatter, so don't be alarmed if you're not used to listening to the internal chatter.  The say the difference between a mad person and a sane one is mad people talk out-loud.  I'm also still deciding whether talking to my pets is crazy or not.  At least I'm not talking to the wall...

Things I'm learning

This week's case study is osteoarthritis, and there are some new medical terms I am coming across;

• osteophytes
• subchondral sclerosis
• subchondral cysts
• Herberden's nodes
• Bouchard's nodes

When there's not much going on in the case study, I guess you hang on to whatever you get!

I'm still too bored to read all about bone anatomy, so I'm currently looking at the musculoskeletal section of First Aid for the USMLE Step 1.  I wont get my 30-day subscription to USMLE World Q-bank until Week 5 or it will run out before the end-of-term exam.

Even my presentation this term on Paget's disease is not overly exciting.  Sheesh.

I know somewhere in this module the infamous brachial plexus is going to turn up, so I might as well start looking at that too.

I'm pretty happy with  my current understanding of NSAIDs/paracetamol and the DMARDs.  I suppose I could look at bisphosphonates and perhaps a little more biochem in the areas of gout and inflammation.  Yuk.

I also have a gaping hole in my knowledge of genetics, but my genetics book looks so scary.  My lecturer (Dr Laura Gunder) has authored a textbook Essentials of Medical Genetics for Healthcare Professionals and I'd love to get that one.  I might check the hospital library for it this week.  All other textbook purchases will have to wait a few more weeks at least.  I also really, really want Murtagh's General Practice as I love the way his companion handbook is set out.  That one I know they have in the hospital library, but I want my own to draw in!

And reading Metamorphosis-time.blogspot.com by Bethany, I am so jealous of her results!  Dang.  My friend at work is also looking awesome.  We started trying to get in shape together a few months ago and she kept going and I fell off!  I need to get back on the wagon.  My excuse is she is one of those people that only needs about 6 hours sleep a night.  But excuses don't get me anywhere!  So I just made a fortnightly(!) grocery list for tomorrow, this time trying to keep to bill down as well as being extremely healthy, so I went through my cupboards and have found plenty of ingredients I don't need to buy like brown rice, brown pasta, tea bags (not my fancy organic oolong, but oh well), and chicken stock power (not my fancy organic, non-MSG stock, but oh well!).  I tend to do better if I commit 100%, so let's try again!  At least I can still see most of the great definition from TAM (like I have mentioned before, I'm a 50/50 mesomorph-endomorph).

Anyway, just realised the time and I have to go get ready for my 14-hour night shift :(

Clawing

I'm clawing my way back out of the mud. 

If my purpose in this life was to figure out money, then I think I'm definitely at risk of being reincarnated once again.

Anyway, I've managed to sort out a few things today although it's been a bit of a sad journey looking at my budget, and schedule, my commitments, my bad choices and poor decision.  But, I'm getting there.  I've gone through the "why am I do this to myself" conversation, and the "it would be worse if I was studying full-time on-campus and working part-time" reassurance conversation.

If, back in 2007 when I finished my paramedic degree and did the GAMSAT and got offered an interview to start in 2008 at an Australian med school, had I decided to take the plunge, I would be in 4th year now.  While that sounds great, if I think about everything I've done in the past three years I think I made the right decision.  If anything, I should have started at OUM sooner, but then again I wouldn't have bought this house. 

Thankfully, it looks like I'm going to be cleared for next term which starts in a week, so I can't bring this low energy into next term.  The bursar said I had to pay what I owed for last term, which is fair enough.  Although I don't really have that money right now, I was able to borrow it.

I've taken another OT shift tonight so I have to go get ready now.  Hopefully my next pay will go towards getting things squared away.

Fees and money

I did an OT shift today at work.  Don't tell anyone but we didn't treat one single patient!  We're "didn't turn a wheel" as they say in ambulance.  It was great.  I spent the whole day studying my work protocols and the new changes they're bringing in.  I also looked again at bundle branch blocks as well as the pharm text.  And of course I gossiped with my girlfriend I was working with today.

The new OUM bursar contacted me today and I've replied and I'm still hoping this can be resolved.  I have been thinking a lot about money atm and have put in an application to the army for the graduate medical scheme.  I'm not sure how it will go considering it's really for Australians in Australian medical schools, but I'll try anyway. I think I'm an excellent candidate given my previous enlistment into the RAAMC (Royal Australian Army Medical Corps) and civilian achievements.  But I know the ADF doesn't like "grey" areas too much at all.  I'll keep you posted on that one.

Frustratingly, I feel I have undone so much of my hard work with my fitness in just the past week or two of injury and work.  I have been eating so poorly, I am saddened I have put so much rubbish back into my body when I was on such a good roll, just due to work demands.  There's nothing much I can do but start again, virtually from scratch.  It is completely disheartening as as much as I try, work and study make it virtually impossible.  I am feeling like a failure right now that I haven't figured it out. 

I'm hoping with a good night's sleep and a sleep-in tomrrow I might feel more optimistic and innovate a new plan for solving this problem.

Blenders, capris, and DVDs

My DVD player died this morning straight after I did my cardio. I have wanted a second one for a while for the spare room i'm hoping to turn into a gym. I thought it would be about $100 but it was only $45 so I bought a blender as well. Then my friend told me I can play DVDs on my Wii... Oh well, at least I now have two players. Just need another TV and stand.

I'm really happy with my muscular definition so now I need to shed some more fat to see it better.

Now with my new blender I can do the week 1 TAM diet. I bought all the ingredients for a week and it was about $90. Not bad, eh?

This arvo I quickly whipped up the first 3 meals for the next 2 days but I need to do more tonight while i'm oncall if we're not too busy (as well as do my muscle workout). I think all of them can be frozen quite well.

Also, I got a pair of workout capris/leggings from Target for only $20 so i'm quite happy about that but can't wait to get some more nicer workout gear. Will have to wait though....